Comments on: Five Danger Signals That Warn That You Are Being Manipulated

By: jill

jill — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 17:18:56 +0000

im british living in egypt with a egyptian man… the arabs are the best at gettin what they want from foreigners.. they want visa and better life and will tell you anything to get it , they will even have a child to you, but mark my words once they get what they want, there off.. any foreign women is a idiot to get involved.. iv seen it time and time again…im gettin out soon and advice should be given to foreign women travelin to these countrys cos these men will con any women to get out….TAKE CARE!!!!

By: Julia

Julia — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:38:21 +0000

I have encountered a master manipulator myself not too long ago. I have to agree that good-hearted people get taken advantage of. I knew this man for only 5 months and already he was moving in, taking over and doing what he wanted, while I worked. He wanted me to buy a house ( I live in an apartment),and pay for almost everything as far as going out for dinner, etc. The day before he disappeared, I told him that I had a budget and that I wasn’t a millionaire, and some responsibility had to be taken in this relationship. I came home from work the next day and he was gone. I texted him to find out what happened, with no reply. It’s obvious, I was scammed and played by a manipulator. When the responsibility and boundries came to the surface, he knew that he could no longer take me for a ride. I am still hurting over this, but, I now know that him leaving was probably a favor.

By: Lisa doughan

Lisa doughan — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 01:18:23 +0000

This is a really good article i only wish i had read this sooner. I have had so many people in my life that have been manipulating me and as i am a kind hearted and naturally honest person i let them into my life no questions asked. My mother is the main culprit she will twist things to get what she wants and beleive me she always gets it, she uses my sister as a weapon. she asks me to babysit my sister and if i say no she will ban me from seeing her and become really hostile towards me. I cant win because i love my sister both of them and although one of them lives with me and is old enough to make her own decisions my younger sister is still a baby it is also exhausting and i now have no social life she has taken it away from me.I spent most of my childhood bringing up my sister even at 6 years old and now i am practically bringing up my other sister , i am the one with the motherly instincts i worry all the time and she will even say that i give my sister more love than she does. I have matured way beyond my years and not once have i had a thank you or a meaningful one. I know i am stuck because as long as my sister is here i will be which means i have no escape… I only hope that one day she will realise the damage she has caused all of her children

By: Anonymous due to current legal issues

Anonymous due to current legal issues — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 02:52:26 +0000

This is a great article and something I wish I could have been armed with a couple of years ago. My husband and I let a particularly manipulative person into our lives–some of the manipulations I saw and others I didn’t until it was far too late. Everything I found, I just couldn’t quite put my finger on to defend it adequately to my husband. Long story short, this person (a woman), broke up my marriage because my husband was the “prize” she had her eye on–and she got him. Now, I’m left holding the bag and being blamed for things she originally put in motion but was careful to keep herself unaccountable for and now a lot of my battle is a “he said, she said” situation. A lot of the incriminating things she said were when no witnesses were around and naturally she denies having ever said or done them. Its a big, fat hairy mess involving lawyers and a lot of burden of proof. I’m just praying my attorney will find where she might have screwed up to give us the upper hand once again. Never did I have such heartache in my life as I have since the day this person walked through my door and its so sad that people like this can harm otherwise well meaning folks. I truly hope that Karma is real–its the only solace I have these days.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:22:33 +0000

In my case, it's my younger sister and formerly my mother (she's seen what she has done over the years and is now trying to rectify her actions, so far has proven that she's not going to be manipulative anymore) who have been manipulative in my life. My sister, though, will not be changing any time soon, or at all for that matter. She's only still a teenager, but she has all the key elements of a master manipulator. She's just gone through the state, jumping from one foster care to another, just to be placed back home due to "unmanageability." At each home, she started being nice and complying with rules, quick to please her new foster parents. She'd lay it on thick, explaining that she didn't know how to do a lot of things because she was never properly taught, or because she had forgotten because of a car wreck several years back, or because of the many medications doctors have been giving her over the years. The sweetness of her demeanor towards her foster parents would fade after a few weeks, once she wanted something and they would refuse, at that point she would begin pitting them against each other. Lie after lie would pour out of her mouth, until their attention would be on each other instead of herself. At this point, once they've worked things out with each other, they would ask for her to be removed and it would start again.

Now she is back at home, and since she's lived with us before, she's already got everyone wrapped around her finger, with me as the only exclusion. So far it's only been a week since she got here, and already she's destroyed an already fragile home environment. I'm only her sister, and no matter what I say or do, I can almost never get through to anyone.

I strongly believe people like my sister will never change. They will continue to manipulate their way out of everyone around them, or destroy them if they will not comply. They are mentally ill, because the wide range of normal people would not so willingly take free will from others, which is exactly what they do.

This is something that can be prevented, that much I am sure, but it must be seen and noticed by the parents raising the child. I strongly believe that keeping strict standards between all children you raise will be a key preventative to raising a manipulative child.

Do not fool yourself that just because one child is more intellectual, and your other is more emotional that they need to be treated differently. All children need love, care, rules, and discipline.

By: Patricia Braithwaite

Patricia Braithwaite — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 00:01:54 +0000

I love this article it reminds me of a person I dated for three years. The funny thing is that I knew what was going on but was manipulated more by my extended family and told that I was the problem. I am currently in the process of writing a book about the situation because it was so over the top. I had to take 3 years of blame for things like he didn’t pay his child support because he was paying my bills and I was imagining things that were happening or he was here when he was really there needless to say I lost all of my friends and I don’t talk to some of my family because he was and still is able to manipulate them into believing I was the problem. He still comes around now and then and I try to be nice but it always results in my loss. He always uses the phrase “you are mean” when you try to take control over your own life guilt trips are big with him and so is poor me. I do believe we all manipulate to a point but some people are way over the top and will never learn.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 03:21:59 +0000

I am stuck between 2 manipulators at work, after reading this article I could how each of them has different traits. Its making work life hell. Any tips on what to say to these people to get them to back off and leave me out of it? I am so fed up of all the games!

By: Suze Smirh

Suze Smirh — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 05:21:31 +0000

I have watched thirty years of manipulation by my mother-in-law
of my husband and his brother. His brother is painted as good, my
husband is bad, and the mother seems to enjoy the power. It is
like she enjoys punching my husband right between the eyes, and
he is like some big air doll that plops backwards and springs
back for more. The main technique is shame and guilt. No matter
what my husband does for either of them, it is some degree defective, but now I have found some things are really lies. It
is hard to go into it, but I can say truthfully I now have little
respect left for my husband because of his endless submissiveness
to them. Power and control for both and they never even get mad
but in just a few minutes can send my husband into an explosive
rage. He has no way of defending himself, and they seem to enjoy
the attack. Nothing he ever does will please either of them. One
example is my husband took his brother for two weeks, separate
trips on a timeshare vacations. His mother told him it was not
right he asked his brother to pay for the rental car, he should
have paid half, despite the fact that the cost for my husband
was five times the cost of the resort. Another lie, a decade
later, my husband is told he was terrible to not visit his brother in the hospital when he was having a marrow transplant.
My husband pointed out he went to see if he could be a bone marrow donor, that counted for nothing, and then it occurred to
me to see if he could have even had visitors. I phoned the hospital and was told visitors are on a case by case basis, and
then I told him to ask his mother why she did not go, she said
she was too old, but the truth was probably for my husband to
have visited him may have jeopardized the success of the marrow
transplant, maybe by bringing in a cold germ, afterall, the mom
did not go, but this is still being thrown up to him. She is
always putting my husband on trial, always finding he treated the
brother unfairly. It has reached the point I no longer respect
my husband for engaging in any way with his mother. She never
liked me from day one. No matter who he married, they would have
been found to be flawed, yet, when my husband was sued by a woman
who contrived a false claim of sexual harassment, it was, from
his mother, oh, she was such a nice person, just what did you
do, in a mean tone. No empathy, nothing. Manipulators make you
crazy, and rageful, but even more, those who allow themselves
to be manipulated are frustrating, too. It is a sick dynamic,
and in this family going on as best as I can tell for over fifty
years.

By: Rebecca Hoeft

Rebecca Hoeft — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:46:45 +0000

I have just cut ties with my master manipulator. She was quick to call me her best friend. I should have known. I was so desperate from friendship and she took advantage of that.
She was always so depressed and angry and sick and injured. Being her friend was exhausting. One thing after another… “No one cares” she would say. I felt so sorry for her. Not any more.I am taking my power back. I am going to cut and paste this article because it fits her to a t. At the end of it, I will type “Leave me alone”!!!
Thank you so much… You have no idea how much this has helped:)

By: Liane Schmidt

Liane Schmidt — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:54:10 +0000

Dear R.B.,

Great article. I was recently the victim of a con artist. I am certain your article will help millions in avoiding such people.

Best wishes.

Sincerely,

-Liane Schmidt.