How to Become and Stay Happy

A boxing champion said it well: “It was hard reaching the top, but it is twice as hard staying there.” In a previous article, we discussed happiness, the permanent kind; we found out that only one person can make you happy: You. Once you have reached that blissful condition, a difficult journey indeed, it becomes very hard to continue in that state. Life has a way to make sure we have to fight every second of every minute to avoid losing our positive attitude.

Before analyzing strategies, let’s make sure that we agree on the term “permanent happiness”. We know that every individual defines this phrase differently according to personal circumstances; there are, however, some common points in everybody’s life that we should underline:

Serenity

No matter what happens to you, whether positive or negative, the inner ego maintains a state of serenity; it must remain calm, at peace with the unconscious (also known as Id) and able to cure whatever negative emotion affects the outer ego.

Let’s imagine the worst case scenario: You have lost a beloved member of the family; it can be a child, a sibling or a parent. Your first reaction is to give way to despair and, eventually, a situational depression. That is the “normal” reaction of the outer ego, also known as your public persona.

Your inner ego or subconscious could fall prey to the negative emotions, thereby destroying any hope of permanent happiness. Or, if it is strong enough, it could bring solace to your pain, helping you in accepting what cannot be changed.

Accepting the Past

Can you do anything about the past? Can you change the loss of a loved one, the onset of a mortal disease or the accident that cost you an arm? Some people say that for a few seconds before we die, an expression of contentment can be clearly observed on the face of the individual. Some of these people suffered a very painful death, but somehow reached a level of happy resignation, as if they actually welcomed the transition to a better life.

That is what we must strive to attain while we live, for there is nothing we can do to change the past. We can however change the future to our benefit by accepting a few facts dictated by common sense.

Changing the Future

I cannot change my height or the size of my feet or the color of my eyes (naturally of course) or the color of my skin (some do try however) or anything in the past.

So common sense tells me that I should concentrate on what I can change; my education, my job, my attitude, my emotional reactions, my beliefs and even my values. What I decide to do today will change my whole future.

A case in point: A long time ago I decided that my country of birth (Switzerland) did not offer me a bright future. So I made the fateful decision to emigrate to the U.S. with 200 dollars in my pocket. Can I change that? No, of course not. So if I spent my time regretting that decision, my life would be miserable. Now consider if you please your own case; how much time have you wasted on lamenting things in your past? Would it be more beneficial to consider your options here and now?

As you can deduce from these observations, the permanent state of happiness of your EGO depends largely on these 3 conditions: Serenity at all times, Accepting the Past and Changing the Future. Yes, it is hard work and a constant struggle. But think of the rewards!!