Life After Abuse: Getting Free

     The goal of becoming healthy and self-empowered is nothing short of vital to the continued survival of the victim. To be successful in meeting this goal, obviously the victim needs to escape the abusive environment. When the survival mode moves from focusing upon daily survival within the abusive relationship to survival outside of the relationship, the necessity of maintaining this focus is still just as high as it was within the daily survival context. Additionally, the focus of the survivor now must include taking actions to maintain their security from the potential backlash of the abuser.

     When first leaving the abusive relationship, nearly all survivors will tell you that they are concerned on some level that their abuser will find them and harm them. In some abusive relationships, direct threats are made contingent upon the victim leaving the relationship. These threats can range from the abuser killing them self to the abuser stalking and killing the victim. At times, the psychological effects of the abuse are such that the survivor has difficulty even considering drawing upon local law enforcement to assist them in maintaining their safety.

     This is not an indication of weakness in the survivor, as some may attempt to argue or as some survivors may feel is the case. This is actually an indication of the extent of the harm caused to the survivor by their abuser during their victimization. Other challenges may present themselves at this time as the survivor attempts to acclimate to being outside of the abusive relationship. Some of the behaviors that were present in the survivor when they were in the abusive relationship may persist as well, such as continued abandonment of what was a favorite pastime prior to the abuse.

     The combination of the beginning appearance of the long term psychological effects of abuse and the persistence of psychological effects from the abuse proves daunting for many survivors. In this situation, it is vital for a survivor to have a support network around them to help them cope with crises that may arise and the exhausting daily challenges of these psychological effects.

     Often, survivors have difficulty putting together their support network because of the psychological difficulties they’re facing. In many cases, the survivor has been conditioned to believe that the abuse was their fault and their actions in leaving the abusive relationship are wrong. This presents an enormous stumbling block for a survivior, especially if they are engaged in the recovery effort with out the assistance of a trained mental health professional.