Managing Your Emotions

Even as an adult, I can still recall some of those painful memories from elementary and middle school. There were times I vowed never to miss anyone again. The emotion was too overwhelming. The tears wouldn’t stop. It was an emotion I did not like. My best friend, Aixa, had moved away forever, to another continent. And then there was Yvelle, a classmate who wouldn’t leave me alone. She always taunted and teased me. As much as I tried to avoid her, she bullied me at every opportunity. Her jealousy culminated into a fight upon which we were both suspended from school. Today, I am faced with having to cope with the death and dying of loved ones.

Have you ever had to deal with overwhelming emotions? Have you wished you knew of some way to deal with them? You are already aware that emotions can cause either negative or positive reactions. Are there techniques you can use to recognize, cope, and control your emotions? Yes, there are!

What is emotion? According to the Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, emotion is defined as the affective aspect of consciousness; a state of feeling; a psychic and physical reaction (as anger and fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling and physiologically involving that prepare the body for immediate vigorous action. In other words, emotion is a strong feeling that prepares the body to react. Controlling your emotions when faced with life pressures is the key towards becoming a healthy well-balanced emotional adult.

The ABC of emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness. (Goleman 268). How well do you cope when life’s pressure mounts and you begin to feel control slipping through your fingers? Stoop recommends the following questionnaire to help identify your coping style (21). Completing the short questionnaire will give you a general tendency of your personality temperament.

Coping-Style Questionnaire

1. I usually prefer to: A. take time to list the things to be done or B. just plunge in.
2. I usually A. find waiting to the last minute nerve-racking or B. prefer to do things at the last minute.
3. The word that appeals to me the most is: A. orderly or B. easygoing.
4. I am bothered more by: A. constant change or B. routine.
5. I am more comfortable when: A. dates, parties, events are planned far ahead or B. I am free to do whatever comes up.
6. Following a schedule: A. appeals to me or B. cramps my style.
7. I am challenged more by: A. facing something unexpected and quickly seeing what must be done or B. following a careful plan to its conclusion.
8. I am generally more: A. systematic or B.casual.
9. I am more: A. punctual or B. leisurely.

Total: (A’s)_____ (B’s)______