Rage: What Makes a Parent Kill Their Children?
We have heard the news stories, and seen the sensational headlines. We have seen the grief and pain expressed by the families; neighbors, and the world.
What a sad commentary on our culture. Part of the problem, is that none of us have been taught how to be a good parent. We are winging it, taking notes from our childhood or doing what we wish our parents had done. It is a surety that in certain instances, as Kimmel and Leach (1994) have stated that even if some have been taught differently, that in a moment of rage, Parental Abusers may reverse right back to the way that they were originally taught.
For instance, if, people on the whole, learn proper behavior, old habits will not repeat themselves. Did spanking originate in the United States? No, we are a melting pot of cultures, and practices that have originated from all over the world. Generally, parents do what they were taught, and what they bring from their experience. Parenting classes and child psychology should be mandatory curriculum in high school and college.
Parents need classes in how to recognize depression, refresher course in child psychology and parenting when getting ready to have their baby. Parents need a place to go when they are facing a crisis situation. They need to know the signs to look for and have support to get the help they need. What would the value be to taxpayers to have tax dollars go to programs that may potentially save a life. Our tax dollars go for cigarettes, gambling, shopping, weight loss etc. Let’s put the value on a child’s life and do all we can to save that child with programs that support and help parents learn the valuable lesson of being a parent.
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Post CommentJudy Sheldon
On November 1, 2007 at 10:05 pm
We have a system that does not want to finance agencies to protect our children. Look at the Ricky Holland case. Abuse was reported and no one stepped in to protect Ricky. Lisa used to work with me. I begged her not to take in foster children because she had severe mood swings. When she became a foster parent she made so much money she did not need to go to work, so we lost touch. She stopped in to visit one day, when Ricky was little talking about how she was going to get extra money for him because he was special needs. She looked up symptoms on the Internet and took down information in order to medicate him and get a larger stipend.
Carlotta, our system gives lip service to child protection and slightly more to abused women.
KTurner
On November 4, 2007 at 7:55 am
This article bothered me, I am sorry to say. I read a lot of things that blame other things for the cause of death or illness, yet I never see that maybe it might just be in this person. There are a lot of psychopaths out there I have no doubt, is a course on ” how to be a better person” really going to help these individuals. I am a parent, I have 4 children. My eldest has ADHD and for years before we knew he had ADHD, we couldn’t understand his behaviour, why was he so naughty? He truly did push his dad and myself to the limit, but we knew our limit and yes we have punished him and his siblings by grounding or loss of a favourite toy and I dont think that is wrong. I got so angry with him at times that I left the house to calm down before talking to him, thats the difference, I knew how far I could go, I read the signs that I was feeling at boiling point and left the situation. Some people though just dont know where to stop and thats what they need help with, to draw the line but not just parents all people who have a role in a child’s life.
charsy
On November 16, 2007 at 7:50 am
i like it
Joseph FX
On November 17, 2007 at 11:16 am
How any parent can hurt their own children is beyond me. My wife and I are expecting our first child, and all I can think of is that little face and how I will love and protect that baby. My son (we know i’s a boy) will be protected at all costs. Anyone who harms a child should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
JFX
Mom of 3
On July 25, 2008 at 7:22 am
I dont agree with the article completely,especially when she said she never punished her child. I love my kids unconditionally and do my best raising them, even my middle child who has severe ADHD, and is bipolar. However, that said discipline is required in some situations. A good parent would not there child put themselves in danger because the dont discipline. I would rather remove a favorite item from my child for a couple of days than have them do something that can be potentially dangerous. We all know that kids are not perfect, and will do things that they know they ought not. It is our job as parents to raise up successful children. The way to do this is through both love and yes discipline.
The part that I do agree with her on is how can a parent who is suppose to love their child do this. Children are God’s gift and should be treated accordingly. Sorry to rant have a great day.
High School Student
On May 3, 2009 at 7:26 pm
I am currently doing a project for a parenting class that I am enrolled in. My topic is, Parental rage towards children. This article really helped me alot!
Disillusioned
On March 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm
The only trouble with this article was that Jerry Hobbs was innocent. Pavletic speaks with such confidence, and yet he had the wrong guy. The real murderer was a neighborhood teenager, and then a Marine. He was a ritualistic killer, and was free to harm others because the police coerced Hobbs’ confession.