Repressed Feelings
by Repression is a good sign that our coping skills are not as good as they should be. We repress our feelings instead of openly feeling and dealing with them.
When we experience repression it is usually a sign that our coping skills are not very well developed. The reason is because it’s easier and less stressful to go back to old familiar behavior than to learn new behavior patterns that reflects the nature of our changing existence. As we face uncertainty we seem to have a nostalgic wish for our past as children when decisions were made for us. Responsibility and decision making are requirements for adults, but we sometimes dodge from the challenge. For example young adults often regress to childish behavior when they are with their parents.
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Some of us repress feelings and awareness. We commit them to the unconscious and obey patterns of avoidance to them. We can’t allow our feelings to settle too long or let our train of thought travel far in that direction. And so, we live on guard against feelings and awareness. Instead of being aware and confronting our feelings, we hop on a plane and go flying away, and we always keep a plane handy. Repressing feelings is a secret we even keep from ourselves. Fear of confronting painful memories is at the root of all compulsive behavior. When repression begins we are immediately off our center. We move from being conscious, present, and sensible to our actions to compulsive and single minded. When repression begins to operate our ability for consciousness vanishes.
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To what extent are we willing to deny reality in order to keep our rosy pictures? In the case of an abusive husband, we may make a reassessment of the abuse by reiterating to ourselves all his good qualities which overshadow the abuse until the next time. We hold onto unrealistic pictures of our lives and we are afraid of seeing our relationships more honestly, because if we are honest about the relationship action is called for. And action is what we do not want to take.
To learn where repression hides, the place to look is in behavior we preform unconsciously. When we notice ourselves becoming disturbed, anxious, unable to concentrate, when we feel ourselves tighten physically and mentally, find ourselves lost in thought, then we must stop and recognize our emotional disturbance. You would think since its lurking inside us it would be easy to identify but it’s very difficult to drag the hidden feelings into the light.
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If you are an intellectual being you can repress your feelings for a lifetime. You can rationalize and discuss them but not feel, or you can drag them out kicking and screaming and get them into the light of day, experience all the pain you have dredged up from the depth, and make decisions accepting your feelings and being aware.
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Post Commentgiftarist
On August 29, 2009 at 5:27 am
Very informative..and well written..Thanks for sharing such a great post.. also nice imagery
ken bultman
On August 29, 2009 at 5:37 am
A profound piece about a prominent problem. Most repress some, I suspect.
unown971
On August 29, 2009 at 5:50 am
Great article! Lots of info! Loved it, thanks.
Buma
On August 29, 2009 at 5:54 am
Great article about repression. Nice Mr.Ruby!
OhSugar
On August 29, 2009 at 6:19 am
Excellent article Ruby. When the pressers of adulthood come crashing down on us, we sometimes find ourselves wishing to be a kid again. We cannot stay in that mode, that is when I problems really start. Best to deal with them and let the results be the results.
Jenny Heart
On August 29, 2009 at 7:34 am
Repressed feeling hurt more than just the person repressing their feelings. Stop and think I wish I could tell them. Great article for much food for thought.
lindalulu
On August 29, 2009 at 9:06 am
Nice article Ruby…
papaleng
On August 29, 2009 at 9:55 am
well-written and very educational.
Daisy Peasblossom
On August 29, 2009 at 10:18 am
Interesting viewpoint. Sometimes repression is a survival tactic.
Joe Dorish
On August 29, 2009 at 10:19 am
Interesting article Ruby!
Christine Ramsay
On August 29, 2009 at 10:25 am
That was really interesting Ruby. It has made me look at my own behaviour and understand it better. Great work.
Christine
Mark Gordon Brown
On August 29, 2009 at 10:30 am
This has always been an issue for me. One that I often cannot understand. I often repress my feelings then let them out and when I do I am told not to. So really I never know what to do, think, or feel. I do admitt holding feelings back makes for bigger blow ups when they come out and I want to be a peaceful fun, silly, person.
Francois Hagnere
On August 29, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Excellent analysis, dear Ruby.
take care,
Ffrançois
Beth Suess
On August 29, 2009 at 12:11 pm
very interesting article, thanks for sharing!
sandie
On August 29, 2009 at 12:52 pm
you have made this seem like the right way of expressing depression and made sense why this happens, thank for sharing your topic with us, enjoyable read.
Joni Keith
On August 29, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Hi Ruby. What an interesting topic. You have made some excellent points here. I know as a survivor of abuse, I am extremely guilty of repressing my feelings. Do you know if there is a direct link between PTSD and repressed feelings. It seems it would only make sense that there is a correlation.
Another great article!
Joni
Guy Hogan
On August 29, 2009 at 2:43 pm
A very informative article. I wonder what kind of world we would have if we repressed nothing. Would it be a better would? As a child I always wanted to kill my father because he was a wife beater. I never had the courage to kill him.
Lostash
On August 29, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I think that most people repress at some point, and I fear that it is becoming more common too. But, as Guy points out above, it also has a positive side too. Nice article once again.
Moses Ingram
On August 29, 2009 at 5:13 pm
A very informative article on repression. Don’t we all repress sometimes?
Tanya Wallace
On August 29, 2009 at 6:18 pm
You always write such great articles Ruby and I always look forward to your next post!This was excellent which comes as no big suprise to me. Very interesting. Repression I think can take a handle on each of us if we allow it to and it is better to work your feelings out rather then try to hide them.
xoxo
On August 29, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Great post. We all do get repress sometimes.
fishfry aka Elizabeth Figueroa
On August 29, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I try never to repress my feeling, cause they cause me stress and anxiety. I try to find the appropriate time to discuss my feelings. I aim not to insult nor be over over baring, but I thihk we need to let people kno w how we feel, especially those we love and respect.
Great article
Ruby Hawk
On August 29, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Thank you my friends, I think we all repress somewhat,and it is much easier not to deal with things. but it is better to push them out in the open where we can deal with our problems and get some relief than to keep them pushed down to make us unhappy. Repression is where disatisfaction and unhappiness comes from.
PR Mace
On August 29, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Ruby, interesting post of view. It is sad when we feel we must repress our feelings. I do agree with your last statement on your comment. Repression does cause unhappiness.
rutherfranc
On August 29, 2009 at 9:53 pm
this was great and informative.. no repressed feelings during reading..
chitragopi
On August 29, 2009 at 9:58 pm
A thought provoking article. Made me do a bit of self analysis.
Alethea Marina-Nova
On August 30, 2009 at 9:24 am
For almost three decades, I repressed child sexual abuse and all of the emotions connected to it. This subsequently caused a disease in my body that no doctors could treat or cure. It was only by remembering the abuse and then expelling my rage, guilt, fear, and feelings of betrayal that I was able to heal from that debilitating disease.
http://ordinaryevil.wordpress.com/my-story/
Collette Edwards
On August 30, 2009 at 10:07 am
great info on repression, very intersting,
oldster
On August 30, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Good article Ruby.
Honesty is always the best policy. If you can’t be honest to yourself then you’ve got big problems.
Sadly the biggest problem is finding someone who respects honesty or understands it.