A few days ago, I was at a seminar organised for young people. Somebody approached me and asked this penetrating question: ‘Who are you?’ “Of course, I am Paul”, I answered. The fellow just accepted the answer and the conversation continued. Sometime after that, the question began to reverberate in my mind, who really am I? This is a question a very large percentage of us do not know or have the answer to.

It troubles me that we spend most of our youth years in college learning about the lives of Columbus and Washington, but devote hardly any time to the studying of ourselves. Too many of us understood the forces of American or European history but not the forces behind our personal histories. What most people have is some imaginary or fanciful idea of themselves. At times, real and genuine self knowledge can be disturbing, deflating, humiliating and frightening to most people. This is why many do not want to discover themselves at all. They are scared of what they might discover. So they live with an unreal persona – a pseudo-self concept.

Once, an elderly couple went to visit an art gallery. There, in one corner, the man stopped for a while and then, pointing to what was in front of him, said to his wife with real indignation, “Who did that painting? How could they keep such an ugly work here!” The wife replied, “Come on Willie, don’t be such a fool. You are looking at a mirror!” Most people are displeased with their external figure or form. The inner self can even be worse, but it need not be.

The question, “Who are you?” seems to be a simple question, yet it seems very difficult to answer. In fact, some say it is the hardest question in the world. A professor of philosophy was taking a walk, very deep in thought and bumped into an elderly lady. Lost as he was in thought, he failed to apologise, but kept on walking. The lady shouted angrily, “Who do you think you are?” The professor was heard saying, “Who am I? I wish I knew!”

Who am I? I am not my name. I can have a nice sounding name like Joy or Love, but can still be very ugly inside. My name does not tell me who I am. It only reflects the thoughts and desire of those who christened me. Who am I then? I may say that I am a singer, carpenter or teacher. But I am not my job. My work is not myself. I am not my activity, although my activity reveals something about who I am. Either of these answers is correct but they show an incomplete view of who we are. It is being said that “What we do and where we go advertise who we are.” This is not totally true because my real self cannot be totally and fully measured by my profession. In every person, there is something of a mystery, something inexhaustible, and something that cannot be easily calculated.

Yet I might say, I am my body, mind, will and heart, abilities and talents, qualities, virtues, defects, character, ambition, effort, both past, present and future, my relationships, attitudes and approaches, my desires, my aims and goals. I am a being ever becoming.

Les Brown, in his book, Live Your Dreams, says “…when you know yourself and understand your motivations, you become more aware of the tools you possess – your unique mix of talents and abilities – and also the limitations you have. Understand that most of your limitations are self-imposed because of your history and that your field of vision is too often limited by your experience, instead of being guided by your imagination.”

References

Brown, L. (1992). Live Your Dreams. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers