Understanding Control Freaks
by What is it that makes us into control freaks? Can we move beyond it? This article takes a close look at this special type of human behavior and what may be at its roots.
I was taking a look this morning at the visitor log at How Nature Heals (my blog), and while checking out the Google search criteria, found the search terms “control freaks, understanding them”. I felt an immediate empathy towards this person searching for answers, and wanted to respond. It’s not likely that this article will reach this seeker, yet so many of us encounter those who we might refer to as control freaks, and not understanding what this behavior is all about can prove difficult. Understanding it may empower us to deal with it with more clarity, grace, and maybe even compassion.
I’m no psychologist. I have no degree in psychology. I don’t believe a degree in psychology is either necessary or particularly helpful in the struggle to understand human behavior, for the more we have rolling around in our heads as a result of academia, the less we are able to see things clearly and simply. Most of us are equipped with the basic awareness necessary to understand what is going on around us and possess what one might call “street smarts” when it comes to basic human hang-ups. We are also able, most of us, to recognize a simple truth when we encounter it.
Control freakiness is a behavior readily recognizable in human beings. No control freak is born a control freak, nor do they necessarily remain a control their entire lives. We are born innocent, are we not? Control freakiness is something that develops over time. What causes an individual to become a control freak? We might be able to link the data in an individual’s past and explain exactly how it came to be, but then all cases would differ somewhat. There are sure to be countless paths to control freakiness, and so my argument is for focusing instead on what is common to all.
The issue is that of control, yet is anyone actually in control of anything? This is a big question. It is a complicated question. If we are to get to the root of the “control freak” problem we must look deeply. The natural world, as it is, has Mother Nature to thank for it, and so the answer is a big “NO” if you limit your focus to biological nature. Human beings have voluntary AND involuntary behavior, with Mother Nature ruling both. In short, we cannot act outside of our limitations as creatures. We answer to natural law, instincts, impulses, needs, etc. Let us make an important distinction then between organic behavior (behavior rooted in basic needs) and inorganic behavior (behavior rooted in desire). Behavior rooted in desire accounts for all behavior that imposes human ideas on human actions. Wanting to control things is a desire (as opposed to need) and is inorganic.
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