Let me first take you a short quiz.

Question: What is your greatest fear factor?

1. calamities and tragedies
2. wild and poisonous animals in all sizes
3. bullies in school
4. the boss who is giving you a hard time
5. yourself and your ego

I would say that the best possible answer of this question is “5″ – yourself and your ego.

I would like to repost this article because I am sure that my motive is pure. I do this for educational purposes. This article would serve as our mirror for self-evaluation. Sometimes, anger cannot do any good if you are holding grudges. It can turn you into monster that would eat your souls.

For further information of this article, may I present to you my conversations with three different types of people: Hiroshima (The Victim), Sakuragi (His confidant), and Groovy Chick (His Archenemy). By studying the personality of these three person, you will learn some good insights from them.

Hiroshima is a graduate from Centro Escolar University with a Bachelor Degree of Psychology. He is now working as an accounting staff of an accounting firm here in Binondo.

For additional information, Hiroshima is also an active member of Youth Gospel Center. He is given a moral support by this group, and his social skills are enhanced.

My conversation with Hiroshima

Question: Can you narrate to me the exact details of your experiences?
Answer: During elementary, my classmates perceived me as a geek. Some named after a famous Chinese cartoon character Lao Hu Tzi. Some called me Fuck Face and Mongoloid. They bullied me in two forms: the verbal and the non-verbal attacks. They treated me that way until I reached my senior year in our school.

Question: Can you describe to me the verbal and the non-verbal attacks?
Answer: In verbal attacks, they would humiliate and intimidate me verbally. These people are class clowns, varsity members, and ordinary students who are ranking themselves as high ranking individuals. In non-verbal attacks, some tough guys punch my arm or kick my chair while I am sitting on it.

Question: Did you also experience these during college?
Answer: When I was a college freshman, my classmates make fun of me most of the time. They ignored me as I am a nobody. They also humiliate and intimidate me verbally. Sometimes, they took advantage on me by abusing my generosity.

Question: Which one is worse, high school life or college life?
Answer: High school life is worse than my college life. In college, I met new friends. And in college, I also experienced to have a steady romantic relationship.

Question: Did you talk to a guidance counselor when this bullying started to occur?
Answer: I had just thought it is a small matter. We were small kids then. What do you expect from us? We were supposed to be naughty kids. And, those guys became my friends. It has no great impact on me during elementary days.

Question: You said high school life has a great impact on you. What did you do in order to stop the bullying?
Answer: I talked to a guidance counselor Ms. Grace Ching. She advised me two things: 1. Ignore those bullies; 2. Focus on studies. She is a very sincere person and has concern on me.

Question: Did you talk to a guidance counselor during college?
Answer: Oh, yes. She did the same. Se advised me to forgive them and focus on my studies.

Question: Did you apply or put into practice of what they said to you?
Answer: No. I did not apply them because the situation did not change. People will abuse me continuously. I also focus on my studies but, the bullies are still there to get me. It does not make any better if I followed their advice.

Question: Did you try to transfer to another school?
Answer: I really wanted to transfer to another school but, I did not pursue because my grandmother advised me to finish my studies. She is the one who sponsor my tuition fees.

Question: Can you describe to me your current work environment?
Answer: My boss and officemates treat me well and with respect. High school life has a big impact on me. The intensity is much higher.

Question: Do you seek professional help regarding our current situation?
Answer: Other than guidance counselor and casual friends, I also seek a professional aid. He advised me two things: 1. Forgive and Forget; 2. Focus on present, career, and future plans. He told me it is my own fault because I allowed this situation to happen. he said no one would like to be treated that way so I should not allow them to treat me like that.

Question: How does your past experiences affect you?
Answer: I am having flash backs. I cannot sleep well at night. I have sudden anger. My heart is palpitating sometimes.

Question: Do you have some regular exercises to release your stress and use your extra energy?
Answer: Sometimes, I do some exercises such as swimming and strolling at baywalk. I also wrote two articles or essays as my outlets.

Question: Do simple exercises help you?
Answer: It helps me a little bit. The flash backs are still there. I am experiencing poor in concentration or disorientation.

Question: What will you feel if other people read your true story?
Answer: I feel good about it. Many people will know my story and I gain sympathy from other people. Many Christians will pray for my emotional and spiritual healing.

My conversation with Sakuragi ( His confidant)

Question: What do you think of Hiroshima?
Answer: He is ok. There is nothing wrong with him.

Question: Are you aware of what happened to him during high school?
Answer: Before I was aware but, I do not remember the exact events now especially during the high school days.

Question: Is it true he was bullied during high school?
Answer: In some ways, yes.

Question: Did he approach you to seek aid?
Answer: Yes.

Question: What did you do to help him?
Answer: Nothing. I had just listened to his sentiments and gave him advice but, he did not listen. I always tell him not to bring back the past to anyone.

Question: Did you go out together?
Answer: No.

Question: What did you do together to have fun?
Answer: I do not remember. When he talks to me, he is always sad. He keeps narrating to me the bad events over and over. He always remember the bad things happened in the past.

Question: Is there something strange in him? Why do other people perceive him as weird?
Answer: No. I do not know why other people think he is weird. For me, he is not weird.

Question: How close are you to him?
Answer: We are close friends. I find him pessimistic in life. I have not tried to change his attitude. I do not have to change his attitude because I accept him for as he is.

Question: Do you think it would affect his current lifestyle if you did not help him?
Answer: I do not believe that he will not be successful. Maybe he will not be successful in some aspects such as finding a love one. However, he will be successful in matters of financial.

My conversation with groovy chick ( His archenemy)

Question: Can you describe Hiroshima as your classmate?
Answer: We are not close friends. But, I can assure you he is a nice guy. He is shy and very quiet. He seldoms talk to anyone in the classroom. When we were kidding around, he also laughed with us. He is such a nice guy.

Question: Is is true he was bullied by you and your peers? Why?
Answer: I do not know why he is mad at us. As you can see, he is not a bad person. Maybe he has low self-esteem that is why he thinks everybody wants to beat him up. Sometimes, he thought we really like him. Actually, most girls like him as a friend or person but he misinterpreted our actions toward him. WHen I read his two articles, I had just laughed and ignored it. As far as I am concern, we did not do anything against him. I do not care of what he things about us. We know the truth. Actually, I have pity on him. I hope he can change for better.

Question: What do you feel when you read his black propaganda?
Answer: For me, it is done. Past is past. If he is telling everybody about us, I don’t care. I believe in the law of karma. I also stand for my friends that he considered as bullies too. We are good people. If he thinks his life is full of misery, it is his own fault. That is his choice. I hope he would not blame everything to us. I still believe he is a good person. Maybe nobody cares for him that is why he is reacting that way.

Conclusion:

Hiroshima is the exact example of every individual who has low self-esteem and hidden insecurities. Yet, he is a nice and friendly person. Although, he tried everything to make friends with other people, he cannot cope up with the environmental culture. It is not easy for him to accept or understand other people’s weaknesses or flaws. And, many people are like Hiroshima who are pessimistic in life and judgmental. However, we must understand them and help them because they are creations of God too.

Being pessimistic can ruin your life if you are holding grudges. Life is not a living fairytale. Reality is tough, and only tough people can survive. Pains and sufferings can mold you to a better and stronger person in order to survive in this world. Only if you are wise, you can understand what I have said.

My favorite Psychology professor always tell me that depression is selfishness because you are the center of your own world. Do you want to gain attention? Do you want to be free from criticisms? Do you want to please everybody? However, you are just living in a life if you think the world is too perfect. Books can give knowledge but, experiences can gain you wisdom. You must have your own pride and dignity.

Are you angry? Do you feel rejection? Are you vengeful type of a person? Do you feel being inferior or useless? Therefore, think of this Bible verse and learn it by heart.

Romans 12:17-21 (New International Version)

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge: I will repay.” says the Lord.

On the contrary, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil but, overcome evil with good.