10 Ways to Fire Up a Relationship Gone Cold

Relationships can go cold for many reasons, stress being the first culprit. Stress affects not only our bodies, it also has a way of interfering in relationship with friends, spouses and family. Here are TEN ways to bring back the spark in any relationship:

• Be your best. Whatever the initial attraction, be sure to keep it alive. It could be a smile, a sense of humor, tidiness or giving a helping hand. Being your best self means improving on your known positive traits and constantly luring your partner into believing that there is always more of you yet to be seen. A dead relationship for a man is one where there is nothing more to conquer and romantic expectations have reached ground zero. For a woman, it is when romance has taken the exit door.
• Make every moment count. This does not have to be a bedroom experience or memorable vacation snap shots. This could easily be accomplished while communicating on issues that resonate in both minds. Heart to heart chit chat brings about more trust, a renewed friendship and commitment .Love making becomes more delightful.  Some couples have stumbled into a new communication code for reaching each other during such special moments of intimacy. Intimate couples usually have sign language and classified jokes that make  their time together more fun.
• Compliment and affirm each other. Complimenting each other and affirming your strengths, rather than weaknesses is like turbo charging your abilities to be your best. Everyone loves compliments and encouragement from loved ones. It can transform a weak man into a bold achiever and make a women to feel like a queen.
• Rekindle the flame of forgotten dreams. Stress and the current economic hardship may soon make people bundle their dreams into a trash basket and pass on the frustration to each other. The best way to transform your house into a home is keep the oil and fragrance of love burning fresh at all times. Love ultimately turns your home into a perpetual love nest by making it a place where dreams never die. A place where each family member keeps coming back for a taste of that peace and security that makes every dream a possibility.
• Release more positive energy into your daily lives. Never underestimate the power of words. Spoken words are like seeds that we sow. They come back as a harvest good or bad depending on what was sown. So you can create your world by the words that you speak about yourself, other people and even concerning your dreams. Wrong hateful words, spoken in anger or as a joke create negative energy which is released into the atmosphere. Countless lives have been destroyed by wrong hateful words. Make a habit of charging the atmosphere around you with positive words.
• Express love daily and spontaneously. Love is such a special gift. A gift that must be given and reciprocated. It is not special by the common understanding of special today, yet it more special than most gifts. It is not seasonally special like Christmas or Valentine, nor is it special like birthdays and wedding anniversaries. These are all memorial love days. Real love is special in many more ways. It is love expressed daily which becomes a good habit. Being occasionally affectionate to your partner may not always communicate love as it does lust.
• Be unpredictable. Most couples are somewhat ritualistic about expressing love like the “goodbye kisses” and the “i love you too” at the end of every telephone conversation. It never dawns on you that being so lovingly predictable shows more commitment to a relationship than love to your partner. Some people are committed to their spouses for reasons other than love. People are known to give gifts that have no bearing with their hearts. Remember, you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. Therefore be unpredictable with your expressions of love. The unplanned candle light dinner, flowers for no special reason, a wink across the dinner table, and the spontaneous and unsolicited announcement of your appreciation are just simple ways to put the sparkle back in your partner’s eyes and say “I do” all over again. Be creative in your expressions of love.
• Communicate simply and straight to the point. This may be an uphill task for women, especially those who would prefer to lay it all down in every conversation. Save it for times when romantic tides are running low. Men are the exact opposite, and because they are, they prefer edited versions of any story. A woman can start calling the shots as soon as she begins to be unexpectedly brief and somewhat out of character. This always triggers an alarm signal in a man’s brain, compelling him to want to fill in all the missing links or connect the dots by asking more questions. Most men do not exactly listen to details during conversations with their spouses. As a matter of fact, they switch off soon after they get enough details, so as to win the “war” concerning  any possible accusation of not being attentive. Nonetheless it is a man’s thing to feel “ out of touch” and out of control when a woman acts as though she has a treasured secret.
• Master the art of listening with intent. Everybody has something to say, but not everybody can get someone to listen. Listening to one another is a very important building block for forming stable intimate relationships. It is one thing to listen attentively, and it is another to do so with intent. Being attentive means being careful enough to grasp all the details. This is important because most poor listeners come up with an all purpose solution to every problem; “don’t worry, everything will be just fine”. A good listener, after listening, plays it back just like the psychologist would do during a session and try to work out something. Listening is the balm that soothes our anxieties, calms our fears and assures us that someone really cares. It is an art that must be mastered, for it is the emotional caressing for the soul, fostering trust and intimacy. True listeners hear not only with their ears but also with their hearts. It is no wonder that they hear unspoken words and the pain of the heart. Good listeners are heart warmers and winners on any day. Better to be one or have one in the house than pay for the services of a stranger.
• Be empathic. Be a friend all the time. Put yourself in the shoes of others especially those you love. Seeing things from others points of view makes it easier to forgive offenses. Now does that make you a “push over”? Definitely NOT! On the contrary, it gives you the key to your own peace of mind no matter what happens.