10 Ways to Stay Broken-up

My best-friend has a really shaky track record in regards to breaking up with someone and staying broken up. To give you a clearer picture, she would go back and forth with boyfriends every month or so. Friends would ask her questions like “Ok, so are you still with X or not?” Or, “It doesn’t matter what I say because I know your probably going to get back together with him next week!” They weren’t being unkind, they were just exhausted. The result of all this is that she lost time to find that relationship with someone that actually works (and what she really deserved). Her track-record inspired me to compile a list of ways to stay broken-up with someone in those sketchy moments.

1) Read or get a copy of “It’s Called A Breakup Because it’s Broken.”

2) Get a support system. If you usually spend your time with boyfriend/girlfriend, you’ll find yourself not knowing how to deal with the downtime. Befriend that girl in your class who looks cool, re-connect with friends, join a support group, maybe explore your spirituality. You’ll be amazed how many wonderful people you can meet! 

3) Get to know you! I know, ugh, it’s hard. But, hey, if you can learn to love yourself unconditionally, what a great way to enter your next relationship. And, you’ll probably attract a better mate.

4) Concentrate on your goals. And please, set realistic goals that don’t set yourself up for failure. It could be as simple as, I would like to take five minutes out of the day just for myself. 

5) Maybe Further Your Education? There are so many wonderful, educational opportunities to further your education even if you do have financial constraints. This is great way for your to get to know yourself, and immerse yourself in a culture of people who share similar interests as yourself. And it’s great way to fill up your time in that otherwise, unworthy relationship.

6) Do something every day that scares you; this keeps life fun and interesting!

7) Make a pros and cons sheet about your ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. That way, you’ll be less inclined to repeat patterns. 

Do a spring cleaning. Get rid of low self-worth clothes, furniture, or yucky remainders of your ex. I know, but, “I love this necklace he gave me, that shirt she bought me, bracelet…” WHATEVER! But honestly, every time you look at it, it’s going to remind you of them. Less harsh alternative?  Put remainders away for six months and vow not to look at them.

9) Volunteer. Not only is this humbling, but it also helps you to be grateful for all the wonderful things you have in your life.

10) Be honest with yourself. What was that relationship fulfilling for you? Were you able to distract yourself from something by being with this person? I know it sucks, but it does help you move beyond that person.

11) Make time for just you! Make sure that you don’t become so busy that you can’t manage your own life. I know that for me, I tend to over-commit myself when I’m trying to run away from something in myself. Give yourself enough down-time to hear yourself and heal up from whatever transpired in your last relationship.

My friend recently told me, I want to feel so good about myself that any woman will be lucky to have me; that to me signifies the self-confidence we all want to strive towards.