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15 Things to Know Before You Get Married

A list of questions you’ll want answers to!

Want your marriage to last? Then here are 15 important questions to ask your prospective spouse. Be sure to know the answers before you walk down the aisle!

  1. Does the person you are going to marry have the same faith, beliefs, and moral values as you do?
  2. How do they feel about having and raising children?
  3. Are they financially responsible?
  4. Are they good citizens?
  5. How do they deal with conflict?
  6. Is this their first marriage?
  7. Have they had children from a prior relationship?
  8. How were they raised?
  9. How close is he or she to their family?
  10. Do they or have they ever had a drug or alcohol problem?
  11. Do they have a criminal past?
  12. Do you trust that person to remain faithful to you?
  13. Do they have any chronic illnesses?
  14. Can you communicate openly and honestly with this person on a regular basis?
  15. Five years down the road, can you look back with zero regrets? One year down the road? Six months?

I compiled this list of questions for myself because I want to have this to refer back to in the future. Just in case someone else comes into my life. Don’t make the same mistake that I made in the past. Take time to know who you are marrying. Ask all of these questions and more. Do not move on until you have the answers that you need. If this has helped you in anyway or you would like to hear my personal story, e-mail me at
kacimia@netzero.net. In case you are wondering, Kaci and Mia are my daughters’ names.

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  1. brianna

    On January 6, 2009 at 8:14 pm


    I really want some advice!
    Im REALLY SERIOUS, about marrying my boyfriend. We have been in a longdistance relationship for almost 2 years now. An recently he proposed to me and i said yes…..i know were to young im 14 and he is 15 but i can answer all the questions above, its all positive responses to! Im now almost 15 an he will be 16 shortly after……can you please help me!

  2. Laura

    On January 7, 2009 at 12:57 am


    Honey, you are WAY too young to be getting married. You will change so much in the next 10 years. If this is the person you really want to marry, what’s the harm in waiting 10 years? You are going to be married for the rest of your life. Enjoy being young and free. Marriage is a responsibility that many people even twice your age struggle with. There is a lot more to a marriage than love. Wait until you get your education, a job…a license for that matter! Don’t rush into anything. I know you feel grown up and in love, but its easy to feel in love when your relationship has very little responsibilites.

  3. Kelsey

    On January 17, 2009 at 6:02 pm


    Sweetheart, you are too young to get married. PLEASE trust what Laura has told you as she is absolutly 100% correct. Yes but of course you think we are both wrong cuz your heart tells you differently. Well I PROMISE that will change. Please think it through first.

  4. sara

    On March 4, 2009 at 7:31 pm


    i met this boy at school im 15 and hes 17 we are dating and madly inlove with eachother we live next door and always hang out. one day he proposed to me and i said yes and none of our parents want us to get married but we do.

  5. ann

    On March 17, 2009 at 2:21 pm


    Please do NOT get married if you are a teenager! Brianna, you can’t possibly have answered all the questions well. For example “Is he financially responsible”? A 15 year old has no financial responsibilities! Does he pay a mortgage? Car debt? Rent? Any bills at all? I doubt it! “How was he raised?” He isn’t an adult yet, he’s not finished being raised, sweety. You don’t have enough life experience to answer all the questions.

    If you are destined to be together forever, what’s the harm in waiting? You do not want to be married and still living with your parents. You are not even old enough to rent an apartment, much less afford to pay for the rent, groceries, insurance, etc. Just exchange promise rings if you want to have a commitment.

    I’m not sure what state you live in, but it might not even be possible to get married at that age without parental permission. If you legally must have your parents’ permission, you’re clearly not mature enough. It’s a funny thing though, in 10-15 years, you’ll look back on wanting to marry this young and laugh.

    Sara, your parents are right. How about just staying engaged until you are at least 21? I’m only 21 and am madly in love too. But we aren’t getting married yet. Not because we don’t want to, if we were 25 we’d do it in a heartbeat! There are things we want to accomplish first, we want to finish school, get a respectable home, make sure we have enough money for a great honeymoon. There are certain skills we want to have like knowing what to look for when house-hunting, how to care for young children, know what to look for in a neighborhood when house-hunting, how to fix things around the house, how to cook a variety of meals, how to mix drinks for a chic party with our friends (you guys are not even old enough to enjoy a toast at your own wedding!).

    If you are set on marriage and nothing will change your mind please get counseling and/or do research! Get all the advice you can. Go to the library and read all the books you can find about marriage, married life, birth control, child rearing, financial responsibility, life skills, house buying, pregnancy, household care, renting and renter’s rights, sexual health, nutrition, taxes, relationships, divorce, insurance, health care and wellness, weddings and wedding costs.

    If after reading all those books, you still want to get married as a teenager, read them again. There is more to marriage than love. Marriage is a legal contract. It’s not impossible to have a lasting marriage when you get married very young, but it is rare. Your marriage will have a higher probability of success if you wait until you are older. Don’t you think your love deserves a fighting chance? If so, wait.

  6. ann

    On March 17, 2009 at 2:24 pm


    what’s with all the slashes in my comment? : maybe they’ll disappear…

  7. Karissa

    On April 29, 2009 at 12:26 pm


    My boyfriend is in the Marine Corps and we’ve been talking about getting married and he asked me over Easter. I never get to see him we only talk over the phone and if were married we could see eachother everyday. We love eachother alot and all I answered all the questions but were only 19 and it seems really young. His twin brother is also in the services and is leaving for Iraq in the Fall and my boyfriend would like to get married before he leaves. My parents and his mom approve but the pastor who will be marrying us isn’t sure. We have been dating almost a year and are high school sweethearts. I really want to marry him but im not sure if its just the thought of getting to live with him or what not If you guyes have any advice please let me know!

  8. karissa

    On April 29, 2009 at 12:30 pm


    you can email me at beierleka@mnstate.edu *thanks*

  9. Mary

    On May 3, 2009 at 5:08 pm


    I want to marry a guy who is 25yrz 0ld. Im 23. Im studying he has c0mpletd and duing buisness. We want to get married. Bt we knw each other juz for 2 m0nths.. We are asians.. So we haf cultural problems. My bro insisting me to get married if we r serious 0r we break up.. Nw we dun knw how to deal wid dis.

  10. stuck

    On May 6, 2009 at 4:44 pm


    Ok this is probably going to sound slightly odd, but I love video games and i love my XBox360. One day while playin a great round of matchmaking on Halo3 i met this guy. I know what most of you are thinking “hes not who he says he is” etc. but really he is. oh! I’m 17 and he just turned 17..we are still in highschool, and we have known each other for almost a year. A few months ago we really really got closer in our conversations and we are currently in a long distance relation ship…he lives 5 hours from me, and i am planning on visiting him for the first time this summer. He is the sweetest guy i have ever met and we constantly tell each other that we love each other and we are both commited 100%…we send ltters and are texting each other all of the time. he says he wants to marry me and i want tell him i want to marry him as well, he even wants kids and he plans on raisin them with me and he tells me he wants me to be happy and never have to lift a finger. I trust him and loe him…but am i doin the right thing by loving a guy i have never really met…ive seen multiple pictures and they r all of him.

  11. Vicki

    On May 8, 2009 at 8:29 am


    Stuck I met the guy im engaged to online not all internet relationships work out but mine did I met him a month after we got together after knowing him for a year I couldnt deny I had feelings for him and although it has been rocky over that month two months later I’m engaged to him and planning a wedding and im only 16 I know what I want. We moved intogether and to be honest taking that step is the best thing that ever happened to me he is the sweetest guy just becareful tho cos sometimes these guys arnt what they seem. Good luck

  12. stuck

    On May 9, 2009 at 1:55 pm


    thanx :D we send letters back and fourth to each other..he wrote me a poem XD lol he is honestly the best guy that i’ve ever been with…even if i have never seen him in person. The other night he told me tat all he wants is to be able to hug me and see me. Everyday he tells me i’m his dream girl and that i’m his angel, The goof decided i need some money te other day and sent me $20 so i could buy som gass next week. yeah, I love this man.

  13. limbo land

    On June 16, 2009 at 10:17 am


    i would really like someones help – i recently got engaged to a really great man, i said yes and we started planning everything. one lead to another and instead of a big wedding, we bought a house — my idea, well my idea to spend the money on the house and not the wedding. the issue is, we plan to wed with a small backyard wedding but, we both are feeling uneasy about it — we have had our issues in the past and we have worked through them. we are actually quite different people, but have been able to see past our differences and focus on the good times. i guess my question is, is it supposed to be this hard? it seems like we just dont agree on things most times, and because we are so different i usually just cave in on my perspective. i mean, he makes good, rational decisions and i am more passionate. i feel like we arent the perfect match, but everytime i come home from a work trip i say to myself, its over, we are done — BUT, then when i try to break up, i feel my heart sinking and the most pain i have ever felt — like all this work that i do, like nothing would feel the same…so i just dont, and then go on living in this half sort of relationship — which is ok, if you are dating, but since we are supposed to get married now, i think that i need to resolve this before the big date — is this just cold feet? or is this something else?

  14. youdontknowme

    On June 28, 2009 at 8:57 am


    it is not supposed to be that way. you know in your heart that it is not right. that you are not truly happy. make it work? of course you can! where there’s a will theres a way. but honey, you do not want to be looking at a divorce in two years because you were not able to see past and through all those differences you two very different people have. breaking up is hard. you need to prepare yourself for it and DON’T give in! You a woman. We seem to be weak willed at times when it comes to men and they take FULL advantage of this weakness because they can see it and they know we have it. Believe me, it is worth the wait for a right man then to be with some one you are not completely happy and satisfied with so please so not do yourself or your friends and family the injustice of ruining your self esteem, credit and possibly career with another mans desires. Is he what YOU want forever? Peace.

  15. been there done that

    On September 3, 2009 at 2:18 pm


    Wow. I have read through most of the posts and it is amazing how many young people are ready for marriage. I was 19 when I got married, had two children, then divorced at 28. I missed out on really discovering myself and finding who I am. Both me and my ex-husband missed out on this and the older we got the more the marriage changed and we went out separate ways. It has been 5 years now and I have been seeing someone else and trying to figure out what i want in life. We are now at a point in our relationship that we either move forward or we will be just standing still till we break up. I am the hold up. I still do not know what I want out of life and if I am ready to make the necessary sacrifices. Marriage is full of sacrifices any relationship is. Please think hard about making the choice to marry or not. Marriage can be a wonderful thing. I wish the best to all who are married.
    If I had not married young and knew then what I know now I would: finish college, have a career, and make sure I knew my self well enough to share that with another person.

  16. Pamora

    On May 27, 2010 at 11:46 pm


    You just know when it is right. It does not have a timer. It does not come with an expiration date. And it is not a business. It just is. And for me (bragging) It is right. Yaayyy!!!

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