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27 Ways to Annoy Your Girlfriend

A guide on twenty-seven (the one, true number. There can be only one) different things you can do that will annoy your girlfriend.

Girlfriend got you down? Just want to tease her? Far to uncreative to come up with your own ways to do it, or does she always foil you in the end because she is a maniacal, fun-ruining beast? Well, here is a list of twenty-seven (because twenty-seven is just cool) different things you can do that are almost surefire ways of annoying her.

  1. Beg for a Playstation 3 every time you with her while withdrawing money
  2. Borrow her panties. Tell her about it a week later. Make sure to tell her that you’re sorry, for added effect.
  3. Play Thunderhorse on Guitar Hero. Forever. Only Thunderhorse.
  4. Lick her nose. When she tells you to stop, promise to do so, but do it anyway. It’s okay. It was just a white lie.
  5. Flirt with anything with two legs. Make sure to make obvious glances to your girlfriend while you do. Speak with hushed whispers.
  6. Invite her to a movie. When she shows up, tell her you changed your mind and would rather go visit your grandparents. Make sure to tell her she is invited.
  7. Figure out what language she dislikes the most. Make sure to slip a few words from that language into your sentences.
  8. Foreplay – Then no play after she is nice and ready. Guys can be not in the mood, too!
  9. Come up with silly nicknames and be sure to use them often. Names like McBunnerson and Dizzle are great.
  10. Make sure to tell them how cute every girl you know is. Not at the same time, mind you. Whenever a friend’s name come up, be sure to say that you like the colour of their eyes, or something far more romantic than you normally say to your girlfriend.
  11. Say, and I quote, “Oh my god! I have a great idea!”. Get excited. When she asks what it is, tell her that it’s a secret. For added effect, tell her to hold on because one of your friends has to hear about it.
  12. Sing about her butt to her favorite tunes. Ruining classics is classic.
  13. Simply state, “You’re looking prime tonight.”.
  14. When she invites you to one of her art shows or plays, be sure to tell her that you have other plans, to include playing video games or just hanging out with a friend
  15. When she invites you to go to an art show or a play (that she is not involved with) tell her you have better things to do
  16. Answer any question she gives you involving the word ,’why’, with, “It’s magic, honey”
  17. Find her wallet and move all her cards around. Be sure to flip some over too.
  18. Leave the toilet seat up. It’s not a big deal to lower it, of course, but for some reason they almost always freak out! When she complains, tell her its easier to lower the seat than it is to lift one.
  19. When she gets hurt, instead of saying something nice like, “Are you alright?” instead say, “…never —” in a dark voice. Add, after never, whatever it is she was doing. E.G. “…Never tell me what to do…”
  20. When she is giving you instructions, -don’t- pay attention. Instead just nod dumbly and say “Uh huh…” When she is done talking, simply say, “What?”
  21. Explain something extremely vaguely. Use lots of hand gestures and pretend you’re frustrated when you’re talking. It’s bound to do the same to her.
  22. When she asks you about an important date, like when you started dating or your first kiss, grow tired of the conversation immediately and say, “Why the heck should I remember that?” Of course, you should only do this if you actually remember…
  23. Be very romantic. Ask if you’re getting lucky when you feel you’ve accomplished enough.
  24. When you go to the movies, make sure to ask what row she wants to sit in. When she replies, make sure to sit in an entirely different section. If you can, make sure to sit behind people.
  25. If you’ve got natural skill at something and know it, but never do it, allow her to try it some time. If she is bad at it, say “It’s okay, I’m not very good either.” Make sure to show her up.
  26. Make an extremely challenging puzzle for her to accomplish in order to get some gift. Make sure to give her clues that wont actually help her.
  27. Act childish. When she tells you stop, throw a little tantrum.
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User Comments
  1. Jennifer Kaske

    On April 12, 2007 at 2:47 pm

    lol. nice. i’m sure a few on there would annoy me. lol.

  2. A. Knights

    On April 19, 2007 at 4:36 am


  3. me

    On July 26, 2007 at 3:25 pm

    you dont have a gf any more do you?

  4. Newhorse

    On November 12, 2007 at 6:08 am

    i wish some of these would work for me, my girlfriend is too crazy though.

  5. me.

    On November 23, 2007 at 11:47 pm

    Umm, y e a h, these were pretty lame, boring, yawn . . . *falls asleep*

  6. shozi

    On December 20, 2007 at 2:12 pm


    they all are hell funnyy

  7. sidney crosby

    On December 24, 2007 at 9:48 pm

    haha i have a girl friend haha these are wicked hey loody fayad

  8. human

    On December 26, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    shozi or who ever is out there think they work

  9. cory

    On March 13, 2008 at 12:31 am

    you could also brag about not wearing underwear anymore around her friends..(make sure you have underwear on)

  10. LewyLewis

    On December 3, 2008 at 1:49 am

    One way to get a woman going is tell her someone has said something about her. She will ask question. You be serious.

  11. Tim

    On February 15, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    Ok here is the one thing that my girlfriend fears but its amazing. Handcuff her or tie her up while having sex, then play dead for awhile. She will get so scared and embarresed to call for help. then wake up and laugh at her. i think its a good way to break up though so…. thats funny as hell though

  12. Derrick

    On May 31, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    whoever wrote this list is a complete and utter idiot

  13. ok

    On June 15, 2009 at 11:08 am

    my boyfriend just spent 45 minutes reading this and im scared

  14. nigger

    On July 1, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    i cheat on my gf. it annoys her.

  15. Zapper

    On July 2, 2009 at 1:38 am

    If you really want to annoy your significant other..Especially if they are one of those people who seem to spend more time on the computer then they do in reality.

    Take some Yogurt and let it drop on top of and between the keyboard keys… This works great, especially if that person is a lazy slob who lets you do all the work around the house all the time.


  16. Bryan

    On September 7, 2009 at 4:07 am

    i do like half the stuff on that list and it works great.

    i especially make up songs about her big rear end and give her nicknames like “butt” and “booty”. she whines and pouts like a little 5 year old. its so cute.

    she tries to do the same to me, but i dont get butthurt like her

    thats just what happens when you live with someone in your twenties.

  17. sara

    On April 1, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    jeez i\’d be so annoyed if a guy i was dated did that to me. couldn\’t you make a list of good comebacks for these?

  18. Alyssa

    On April 15, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    NEVER NEVR do this if u r just trying to annoy her! all this crap will do is cause fights n make u guys break up then u will be sorry….tht advice was terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    On April 26, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    keep track of her period and guess wen it will come the nickname thing deffinatly works i call her period jew hahahahahahaha talk about her mother in a sexual way constantly or how her mom and her dad get it on

  20. Matias

    On December 19, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    If i used these my girlfriend would brake up wit me but their hilarious

  21. Emma

    On April 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    can you include some comebacks for these. I would get really ticked off if my B/F did these thing to me and I would need some sort of revenge.

  22. kat

    On May 5, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    ummmm….you might want to rename this article….change it to something more appropriate….like
    “27 ways to get your girlfriend to break up with you…”

  23. Dino

    On November 1, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    ………….my gf is not talking to me anymore….but it was worth it LOOOL

  24. Some bitch.

    On December 25, 2012 at 12:17 am

    Why is this “27 ways to annoy your girlfriend”?
    Shouldn’t it be 27 ways to annoy your partner? Why does gender matter? Nice sexism, plenty of these would annoy my boyfriend too.

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