5 Steps to Score a Hottie!

Step One

This really isn’t as hard as you may be thinking. Ugly guys score hot chicks all the time. However, there are some personality traits you must acquire in order to score that cute chick you’ve always liked. First and foremost, absolutely positively you MUST front on her with crazy confidence. Even if you are an insecure, weak little human, you can trick any girl into thinking you are the idlest dude just by acting confident.

Speak clearly, honestly, look her in the eyes, you know just overall be awesome. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before as there are a million and one sites out there selling advice on how to score chicks. But seriously, if you can’t even talk to your sister with confidence, you might not be ready to talk to a hot chick. So before anything, work on your communication skills with someone of the opposite sex. Then when you see her, be like “yo let me take you out on a date or something”

Step Two

Look, I’m short, skinny, and don’t even have a car, but I’ve scored a really beautiful young woman (she’s actually really hot). The second most important thing you need is are plans to do something!! Sounds easy right? Well not exactly. Dorks who stay at home every weekend don’t get hot chicks. Hot chicks want awesome dudes. Outgoing, fun, sarcastic, funny, wild, hilarious, party animals, whatever it doesn’t matter.

Honestly, dude, you can’t invite a girl over to your dorm room for some Halo 2. You need to be the type that does adventurous stuff, tries new things, and overall isn’t afraid to experience something new. Heck taking a hot young’n on a new adventure is an excellent ice breaker.

Throw a party, get tickets to an art show, anything music related is so money too, sporting events are good too depending on the girl, but overall, make it something awesome, something you both would actually want to do. Because if it’s weak she probably 1. won’t want to do it, and 2. might think you’re a retard. So basically, step 2 is get your ass some radical plans for the weekend and invite her to come!

Step Three

OK so you finally convinced this girl to come see a free screening of LOTR 5. Now what? You’re sitting in the dark theater for like 2 hours. So what do you do!?! Stare at her out the corner of your eye and fantasize about playing Magic the Gathering with her?? WRONG! Dude seriously, if you even play Magic you prob are gonna strike out, but anyways, lets pretend you never heard of magic for 2 minutes. You gotta step your game up right now.

Tell her you’re hungry during the movie or somethin. After the movie be a man, spend a little dough and splurge for some snacks and soda. Something really innocent, but sweet enough to show you enjoy her company. My girl is obsessed with pizza so we did that. But you can do sushi (barf!), Chinese food, the BK lounge even, just something where you can spend a little more time, have a conversation, and maybe even flirt a little.

This is the most crucial step. This is when you can either make or break your chances of scoring. During this meal, you can either be a zit-faced dork with food in your teeth or a thugged out playa who gets ass every night from a different chick. Dude be a baller, don’t think about money, don’t think about homework, definitely stop thinking about video games. Does Snoop Dogg talk to girls about star trek figurines? NOPE!

A good conversation would be about her family, how old her brothers and sisters are, what kind of music she likes…(if you’re into more underground stuff that’s even better … chicks actually love dude who are into less mainstream stuff)…talk to her about past boyfriends and how stupid they must have been to let hr get away. Tell her she looks awesome, that you love what she’s wearin, she has pretty teeth.

Look her in the eyes, ask her her favorite food, what she wants to name her kids … like honestly, just be really money (no awkward silences) and be down to earth. Don’t brag unless its jokingly and do not act too wholesome. The goal with step three is to break bread with her, show her you are into her, show her you got game, and that we need to head back to my place asap!

Step Four

Step 4 is my favorite. If you got enough gangsta in your blood then you might actually convince her to take her home. If a girl is having fun and you can show her you wanna keep having fun then she should have no reason to not want to hang out with you, right? So you’re gonna have to turn the pimpin up a notch and take this chick back to your crib. Start don’ it really big–go to a party, start taking shots, drink beers be loud … show this girl you are the funniest, craziest dude ever. Girls love guys who are really confident and comfortable in their own skin. If you aren’t, they’ll know right away and be grossed out.

Step Five

Ok now it’s time for the goodbye. If you’re lucky it will be the next morning. Hey even if she just crashes in your bed (ie no sex) you’re still sooooo in. Tell her you had fun or whatever. Give her kind of a weird mixed signal when she leaves so she’ll be thinking about you all day and the rest of her life! Seriously dude, girls love guys. When you were in kindergarten, who started to like who first? I remember the girls chasing all the little boys around first. Guys could honestly care less about girls other than the “naughty naughty”.

So you gotta look at a girl like “damn baby you”re fine and I wanna be your man, but if not then we can still get it on for sure. If we can’t get it on, well then we can’t be friends cuz i got enough friends.’ Don’t be rude, but let her know that’s your attitude. If you act all gay and are like “I really like you but I’m afraid if we have sex it will ruin our friendship” good luck my dude.