A Friend Who Lost a Part of Her Heart

I’m sure a lot of thoughts would come in to mind once death is mentioned. There are those who take it lightly, it’s part of life, it’s a cycle, and we are all heading that way after all. Others who go through denial, denying the fact that they lost their loved ones, for as long as they can until they feel numb enough as they suppress the pain. There are also those who hurt, show their pain, and hurt a lot. Those who are translucent with the pain and show how they truly feel and hurt. And some, upper class society, who deal with the loss in a class manner, keeping their selves together and still with poise.

We all deal with death differently, each in our own way, in ways we see fit and ways we see that work for us. Losing is always a painful thing, be it losing in a game, a fight, losing material possessions, and all the more- losing a loved on dear to us.

A friend of mine a few years back when I was in high school lost her mother. I could see how it was tough for her family. Her brothers weren’t so transparent on the pain they felt, the youngest sibling seemed to be oblivious, not understanding fully what is happening, the father with eyes full of love and lose, and my friend, who seemed to have lost a part of her heart.

My friend and her mother were quite close and their relationship was intimate. More than the usual mother-daughter relationship, they were each others friend.

In dealing with the situation like this, your friend losing a loved one, you need to be more there for her than ever. Here are a few things that you might want to do to help your friend and her family with the grief.

SHOW YOUR SYMPATHY – Tell her that you are sorry for the loss that she and her family are going through and let her know that you understand it is painful and not easy. Let her know that even if you do not fully understand (because you haven’t loss a mother), you still know that it is dreadful and really excruciating.

HELP OUT – As the family is busy mourning, they will not be able to fully attend to those who visit their mother’s wake. You can help out by attending to the guests, giving the family less to handle even just by a bit. You can volunteer to serve snacks, offer drinks to guests, and show them in. Fill in the “duties” of the grieving family as they still do not feel well enough to attend to their “duties”.