A Geek’s Guide to Finding Love

If something you’ve said is funny or demonstrates your superiority at something, people will figure it out for themselves. If they don’t, it wasn’t as funny or impressive as you thought it was. In either case, a nervous giggle just outlines your own insecurity. When you’re done talking, just take a breath and relax.

* Competitive storytelling

While it may work well to establish your dominance in the geek herd, one-upsmanship is a really bad strategy for securing the affections of another. If at any time when talking to a potential mate, you feel the urge to start a sentence with something like “Oh yeah? Well…”, just stuffit back down where it came from and save it for D&D night!

*Blurting/Interrupting

Your potential mate wants to know about you, but much more importantly, they want to know that you want to know about them! If you really listen to what they say, you not only get bonus points for being attentive, the very act of concentrating will keep you from just jumping in willy-nilly with what in the end comes down to “…and furthermore, ME!”.

Get at least one cool hobby

You don’t have to be a race-car driver to get dates, but it helps! You’ve got a lot of hobbies. In fact, that’s probably one of the defining factors in being a geek, your ability to obsess over hobbies. The problem is, most ‘normals’ will have trouble connecting with or being impressed by your Star Wars action figure collection, or your 1600th level elf character. Every geek needs to have at least one hobby outside the traditionally geeky realm.

It doesn’t have to be crazy, just a point for others to connect with. Take a martial arts or yoga class. Try your hand at one or more arts (not computer art, sneaky!). Start swing, ballroom, tango, or latin dance classes. Join a sports club. Pick up darts or billiards. The possibilities are endless. As a bonus, once you start, you’ll also find that your involvement in groups will increase your direct contact with potentials, so it’s a win-win.

Confidence

Insecurity and social awkwardness are the hallmarks of the geek. If you manage to hide them well, you have already won! Take baby steps on this one, and just try a little bit every day. Say hello to a person that you don’t know. Talk to the person at the cash register in a store or restaurant. Talk about trivial things, like your cheque or the weather. Don’t try to impress or amuse them, just be a normal person. In time, confidence will come.