A Historical Perspective on Cohabiting

According to recent studies, there are more non-married households in America than married households. A significant percentage of that first category include homosexual couples and households headed by single people, but the majority of these non-married households are composed of heterosexual couples living together. Recent studies claim that cohabiting couples now outnumber married couples in America, as in other places in the world, particularly Europe.

The traditional institute of marriage, as these facts can attest to, has undergone a significant change in America in the past few decades as numerous people are choosing to forgo it in favor of cohabitation and often single parenthood. Many hail these changes as progressive and further indication of how significantly womens’ rights issues have been furthered in our society. On the surface, this seems very obvious: for so many cultures and eras, marriage was the only option available to women. For our culture and era, it is not and Americans today can garner many of the benefits of marriage without tying the knot. Yet, before we celebrate too hastily, let us examine this trend a little more carefully and explore the roots of this issue.

In the February 19, 2007 issue of Newsweek, reader Peter Hartley of Golden, CO penned this statement “In terms of social purpose, marriage has not existed primarily for the emotional satisfaction of individuals who marry. Its social basis is not feelings but social responsibility for the continuation of human existence.” While Hartley wrote this statement in response to an argument for homosexual marriage, his eloquent insight is applicable to the marriage question as a whole. Marriage is a stable feature of almost all levels of human societies and cultures because it has proven to be the best, most practical way of raising children and keeping society intact, not primarily because it satisfies the emotional needs of two adults.

In marriage across time and the globe, two adults come together in a ceremony that is recognized as binding by the society and religious structure. They pool their resources and talents, typically the man providing for the family and the woman nurturing the children. Typically too, society and religion does not allow either adult to abandon the family unit except perhaps in extreme circumstances, and society and religion are also there to make certain that marital fidelity is maintained and each spouse adequately performs his or her roles. When the married couple grows older, each person continues to support and encourage the other, and their grown children step in to care for their aging parents.