A Moment in My Head #1

  Okay, so I am married.  And I love my husband.  We have two girls together, and all I want is to be a family. 

  Now, my husband isn’t the type to settle down with one woman.  He’s been having a hard time with it our entire relationship.  He has also slipped a few times. 

  Eight months ago, he decided he didn’t want to be with me.  All fine and dandy to my friends.  But, i didn’t want him to go.  SO he didn’t.  Well, now we have gone eight months performing as a married couple, and he has yet to say he loves me. 

  Here lately, I have been getting over whelmingly depressed.  All I can think about is, “I just want some one to truely love me.”  I concider my options, because obviously, I’m not going to get it at home….

   – There’s my husband.  He has a good paying job, and keeps it.  He doesn’t do any drugs.  has never been to jail.  And barely ever drinks.  He doesn’t help around the house, and tends to put me and our kids down.  He may not love me, but he adores our girls.  And he is their real Father…

   -There’s Mr. J.  He can’t stay out of jail.  He is on drugs.  And can’t hold a job.

   – There’s another Mr. J.    He is an alcoholic.  He is almost twice my age.  And he has a girlfriend.

   – And last but not least, there’s Mr. B.  This one can’t hold a job.  Has been in jail twice in the past year.  Has been arrested for posetion of meth just a few weeks ago.  And is married (so off limits). 

  So, so far, the one I have, is the best option.  Yeah, I am stuck right now, between my own happiness, and the best for my babies..  THEY WIN. 

  As a Mother, you have to make sacrafices for your children, no matter what it is.  They always come first.