A Thousand and One Thoughts Before Leaving Your Husband for Good

Fine, so, you hate your spouse so much for cheating on you. He betrayed your trust you kept  for five  years unbroken and tainted your love you had manage to preserved and sustained despite of the distance between you.  Now, you are thinking of leaving him for good after having realizations that you don’t love him enough anymore to spend the rest of your days with him  in agony.  For you, gone are those days you declared yourself head over heels in love with him. The dreams of growing old and grey and wrinkly with him vanished in thin air. The I- don’t-wanna-lose-you phrase seems absurd now.  All you have for him right now is a sky high anger. All you are aware of are the pains he had caused you. Thinking of living with him feels like living in hell. You said to yourself you had enough.
 
You started packing up your things. Personal belongings, pertinent documents and oh, don’t forget the ATM cards and passbooks. You are all set to go. But, hey, are you really ready to leave?
 
Then, you saw your kids’ photographs displayed in your bed side table. They looked so adorable  with their little faces trying to squeeze yours and your husband’s to fit in the frame. It was a picture of a happy family that you are about to put into oblivion.
 
Again, are you really ready to leave not just your husband but also your sweet little angels? Before you go, consider the following first:

• Society including your family. Can you cope up with what the people have to say about your separation? Though we are already in the 21st century wherein categorized as  separated, annulled, divorced or just a single parent has become a common household term you can not  escape the stigma it will create on your identity. The questions that will be raised about your sanity and the decision you made. Not to mention that most probably your parents will strongly disapprove of your decision. You are lucky if you are so strong willed and determined to ignore them that you can deal with your situation without a fuss. Maybe.

• You husband’s relatives. What the heck do you care about what they say. Yes, but they treated you good and accepted you to their family as their own despite and in spite of. Don’t you consider them as your family, too? They were the ones who helped during those times you needed help and there was no one in sight.

• Most importantly, your kids. What have they done wrong to deserve a broken family? Their father’s fault is not theirs and it is not right that they’d be the one to suffer the consequence of what your unworthy-of-your- love-husband has done unto you. Aren’t you going to miss the butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer you shared with your daughter? The hugs and “ I love you” you  received in the morning from your darling son? How about the laughter you shared together during playtimes and storytelling? Nothing beats the “ I love you, Mama”, don’t you think? Are you willing to expose them to an imaginable emotional turmoil as the result of the separation? How can you protect them against insecurities and confusions? If you are mighty enough to spare them from these pains, then, you must  be something.  

                Do you have the money to fight over child custody with your husband? Consider the attorney’s fees and other expenses  that you might incurred during the process. You will need a ship load of money to sustain the case.
 
                If ever you will be granted the custody, do you have a stable job and enough money left to send your kids to school? Clothe them nicely? Feed them well? And for emergencies like occasional trip to the dentist or doctor? You can very well say that you have still a head, two hands and two legs, but how are you going to manage it? With all the debts you incurred just to win the case against your husband and your saving are almost depleted now, what kind of life are you going to give to your kids? Are you going to deprive them of their rights to a better education, nice and decent clothes, comfortable home and a healthy food and environment?  Can you imagine them living with you but miserable? Would you still be able to see their beautiful little faces when they are grimacing in pain due to hunger? Would you still hear their laughter when their little voices are crying for help because of pain due to sickness? Would you still be happy with that?