A True Friend is a Loving Person

            A thought on friendship goes this way: “Discard not an old friend for the new cannot equal him/her.  A new friend is like new wine which is taken with pleasure only when it has aged.” Friendship needs taming each other which cannot just pull someone and call him/her a friend.

            Taming is like winning the heart of a person.  Certainly taming needs time.  It is a long process of discovering each other’s real nature.  Friends need time to discover each other’s qualities.  You need time to disclose the real you, to be open, to trust, to accept each other.  But the moment you become a true friend to another.  It seems as though you would not find anybody like him/her anymore.  Your friend would have become a unique friend and your friendship would have become a very unique relationship, too.

Image by Lel4nd via Flickr

            A true friend is a loving person, one who is a person for others.  Some tips on how to be a loving person thus developing a lasting friendship:

1. Always start a relationship by asking; do I have ulterior motives for wanting to relate to this person?  Is my caring conditional? Am I trying to escape from something? Am I planning to change the person? Do I need this person to help me make up for a deficiency in myself?  If your answer to any of these questions is “YES,” leave the person alone.  He/She is better off without you.
2. Don’t smother each other.  No one can grow under shade.
3. See people as good and beautiful, even when they seem to be trying hard to not to appear as such.
4. Write down all the reasons why you love each person you relate with.  Then, when the going gets tough, take the list out and reread it.  It resolves problems quickly.
5. Don’t be afraid of disagreements and arguments.  The only people who don’t argue are people who don’t care or are dead.  In fact, don’t have short arguments.  Make certain they are thoroughly over and done with it.
6. After an argument is over, forget it.
7. Don’t become involved in pettiness, ego, and childish hurts.  These will only serve to degrade your relationships and prevent closeness.

Image by mikebaird via Flickr

Other tips on how to be a loving person:

1. Watch out for little irritations, they grow into destructive monsters. Verbalize them at once.
2. Let go of pride.  It is usually false, creates barriers and prevent closeness.
3. Increase tenderness and intimacy.  They are a powerful source of nourishment to relationships.
4. See all criticisms as positive for they lead to self-evaluation.  You are always free to reject them if these unfair or do not apply.
5. Don’t be concerned about what you can get from a relationship.  Instead, concern yourself with what you can bring to it.
6. You are at the center of all your relationship, therefore you are responsible for your self-esteem, growth, happiness and fulfillment.  Don’t expect the other person to bring you these things.  You must live as if you are alone and other are the gifts offered to help you enrich your life.
7. Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your relationships.  Lasting relationships don’t just happen, they are created.