According to Sarah
A young man contemplates his relationship with, in his eyes, an over-bearing girlfriend.
According to Sarah
What I thought was a bird is really a cow, according to Sarah.
“You see,” she says, snatching the ink-blot from my hand. She twists it upside-down. “Anyone can see it’s a cow – not an eagle.” She’s laughing.
“Sure, Sarah,” I tell her. Does she see my eyes roll at her?
“No, Cyran, really,” she continues, as if she can sense that I couldn’t care less. “The shape is much wider – you can see it in the hips here. And the legs,” she thrusts the paper in my face. “You can clearly see it has four legs.”
I push the paper away from my face. “Okay, Sarah,” I snap back. I still think it’s a bird, but I tell her otherwise. She’s a math statistics major, so there’s no use arguing. I definitely wouldn’t be able to convince her of it, anyways. I had a hard enough time last week just pointing out the slight ambiguity of poll testing in psychological research. At least this time she’ll find it difficult to insert her “according to statistics” bid – though I wouldn’t be the least surprised if she does.
She’s half-joking, of course (she hates apathetic people who don’t care whether or not it’s a bird or cow, or some other animal), and she chuckles as she triumphantly places the ink-blot on the table and walks back to her laptop to continue her work. I first met her at a mutual friend’s house party. She was a terrible dancer – it was like trying to learn how to ice-skate – and had an awkward gait – her feet would point to the sides like a penguin. But she was cute and paid me no attention. Those were good days.
On our first date, I paid, like a gentleman, for everything: fifty dollars for dinner, and twenty dollars for movie tickets, popcorn, and drinks. And it was her choice for the movie; something like Forever and Ever – I nodded through most of it. And all through the dinner we did nothing but argue about feminism and women’s rights. I’ll admit, I was intrigued at first: she, a staunch feminist who savored a male’s bark; and I was into political science at the time, so I loved debating. But I’m in English now: humility, modesty, and irony are my virtues – and an occasional hint of sarcasm.
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