Action Sammy’s Dating Tips: Avoiding Unnecessary Contact with an Ex

So, you’ve just broken up. That’s it! No more! No possible way of getting back together and you wish to keep it that way. You don’t want any drama. Don’t ever want to see him/her again. You wish to have no further contact whatsoever. After all, it is the only way to get over the breakup and put it behind you. That doesn’t mean you hate the person; You just want to put the past where it rightfully belongs. And you’ve decided that the best way to accomplish this would be to avoid any unnecessary contact.

But then you realize that one of possibly many factors is standing in your way of putting this whole episode behind you. What about the children? You both work in the same office. You go to the same church. The same nightclub. What about mutual friends? You’re in the same class. You both like going to the same restaurant. So many possible ways to bump into one another and experience a return of bad memories. Or worse, you might see the ex with someone new or you might hear about his/her new life. You want to avoid all of that. But how?

Yes, there could be times when avoiding the ex can’t be accomplished. Or, at least, it may seem impossible. Still, there are ways you can at least keep the amount of contact to a minimum.

1. Children: Okay, if you have children, avoiding contact with one another will be downright impossible, especially if you want what’s best for the children, which you both should want. Whenever you need to discuss the children pick a neutral place, like a coffee or snack shop. Keep the meeting confined only to the discussion of the children so that the whole meeting will brief. Don’t ask the ex what about his/her life and definitely do not bring up old times.
2. Same favorite places: Avoid going to places that you suspect him/her may be at. If you go there and find the ex there as well you don’t have to play chicken and run off. Simply find a place to sit that is far away and possibly one which will prevent either of you from being able to take a peep at one another.
3. Same friends: Maintaining mutual friendships that the two of you had can be quite a task. Mutual friends often on purposely try to make arrangements to have you both in the same place at the same time in hopes of setting you back together, very often causing more harm than good. Let any potentially “helpful” friends know that you really appreciate their concern but that you are happy with you life now and that you are content with the way things have turned out. As cruel as this may sound, skip some of the gatherings that mutual friends may have invited you to at least until you have found someone else to bring along. Seeing you happy with someone else almost always squashes any further attempts by mutual friends to try to play mediators.
4. Same workplace: This could be represent the biggest headache. Coming in contact with one another is completely unavoidable and since people enjoy bringing their personal lives to work you are bound to hear of what’s new in his/her life, including who he/she is dating now, whether you want to or not. If at all possible, you may want to ask management for a transfer to another division or department or vigorously search for another job. Doing so will not make you a coward. You won’t be “running from your past”. You’ll be moving on. This is what people do after breaking up.