Action Sammy’s Dating Tips: Chivalry in The 21st Century

As hard as it may be to believe, chivalry still has to be practiced toward women. On dates, even women who are outright proud of their independence and will quickly assert it still want to be pampered and somewhat taken care of a man. Chivalry is one of the rare customs that is unlikely to ever disappear from humanity as women have become increasingly socially equal to men. Being chivalrous toward a woman will continue to be an important part of a man’s first impression on a woman and one of the best ways to ensure success in attempting to win her over.

There is good news, however, guys. Just as women’s social status has changed so has the amount of pampering we are expected to extend to them. In fact, for some women, extending too much chivalry can be an absolute turn off and therefore, somewhat harmful to your chances of impressing her. Besides, as we all know now, many women are actually more attracted to a not-so-nice bad boy. So, just as it is still important to be chivalrous toward women it is also very important not to overdo it and thus, give her the impression that you’re an overly-polite and boring little “nice guy”.

So, just how chivalrous should we be? How much is too much? Well, certainly gone are the days when we would be expected to take off our jackets and use them to cover a puddle of water so the lady can walk over without getting her feet wet. Besides, is it really THAT much work to simply walk around the puddle to avoid it?

But, here are some things that we are still expected to do on a date:

1. Pay for the date: Yes, even if the woman is probably making money than you are, we are still expected to foot the bill. However, more and more women are developing the habit of at least paying for their own dinners. But, if she does offer to pay it, politely refuse. Of course, if she continues to insist that she pays for half, let her.
2. Hold the door for her: If there is any part of the practice of chivalry that will never disappear, this is certainly it. Always open and hold the door for the lady. If there is another door, brush by her and open and hold that one, too. Opening and holding a car door open may be laying it on a little too thick, however.
3. When using the downstairs: You don’t have to hold her hand and lead her down anymore. Most independent women of today may find this insulting. But still walk a step ahead when descending. This isn’t just chivalry but also a safety measure. When ascending the stairs, walk a step behind her. And, no, guys, this isn’t just so you can check out her ass-ets.
4. Help her with her coat: You don’t have to help her take off her coat but still help her put it on when stepping out.
5. Help her sit: Help her sit only upon first being shown your table in the restaurant. Getting up to her sit back down each time she gets up and returns will be overdoing it.

Even when providing these niceties it is wise to try and pay attention to the woman’s reaction to chivalry. Try to catch a glimpse of her facial expression to determine whether you’re impressing her or irritating her. Certainly, you don’t want to let her slip away because you were being too chivalrous. If she does seem to be turned off by what you’re doing, stop performing only that particular chivalrous act. And the rest of the date should go smoothly.

ActionSammy,

(Feel free to comment, question or criticize me at actionsammy@yahoo.com. And be sure to look for my upcoming first book, First Degree Lust, an action/romantic/mystery/thriller, in Spring 2010.)