Action Sammy’s Dating Tips: Ending a Relationship in The 21st Century

There has never been an easy way of telling a partner that the relationship is over and that you want to move on. There is just no way easy way out of a relationship. Even women in abusive relationships have historically found it very difficult to get out of one and it’s not always out of fear that the abusive boyfriend or husband might track her down but for a variety of reasons.

What would be the easy way out of a relationship? Many, apparently afraid of exiting the relationship themselves, have resorted to committing foul errors to make their partners want to dump them – consistently showing up late for dates; “forgetting” to call; “forgetting” important dates such as birthdays; just being a total jerk all the time. Of course, one runs the risk of ending the relationship on bad terms which most don’t want to do. Not to mention that this route almost always makes one feel two feet tall.

Let’s face it, looking someone straight in the eye and telling them you want out is not one of the world’s easiest, enviable tasks. No matter how politely it’s done it is still a difficult task. Actors make it look very sweet in the movies and on television but when done in real life it’s very heart-breaking and the partner initiating the break up always feels two feet tall for a while either way.

Many will be quick to say that the best, most civil way to tell a partner it’s over is to sit him/her down and talk. But, this can be the hardest and most painful way to go about it. Doing it this way puts you at risk of being hit with a barrage “why” questions and “but, honey” pleadings which would make you feel guilty. Why must one be made to feel guilty for ending a relationship? Certainly, if both feel that the relationship is worth trying to salvage then it should be discussed first but if one clearly wants out of a relationship then there is nothing to discussed.

Well, welcome to the 21st Century of romance. By now, we’ve all heard Britney Spears and the infamous text message. Sure, this may seem undeniably cold but it may the sign of the times. More and more relationships begin and are held together via email and text message. Roughly 22% of adults admit to consulting the online personals and dating agencies to find a partner. More and more relationships start often months before the two partners finally meet face-to-face.

Even partners living together spend a great deal of time constantly emailing and texting one another when away from each other. Texting is becoming more preferred by some people to actually talking on the phone, especially among young people. One would think it’s only a matter of time before emailing, texting and faxing would become preferable to sitting down, looking someone in the eye and telling him/her it’s over.

In 1995, Michael Jordan sent in perhaps the most famous two-worded fax – “I’m back!”. So, what would be wrong with sending an email, text or fax declaring, “I’m gone!”?

Short of killing an unwanted partner, there is no right or wrong way to end an relationship. How can there be a “right way” to break someone’s heart and hurt someone’s feelings? And while email, text or fax would certainly seem like exceptionally cold and cowardly ways to end an relationship they are less painful to all parties involved. You are spared having to watch the hurt in your ex-partner’s eyes and therefore, also spared the possibility of having to wrestle with sudden emotions.

Look at this way: technology has given us a face-saving way, quite literally, no pun intended, of ending a relationship.