Action Sammy’s Dating Tips: Reasons Not to Stay with a Commitment-phobe

You’ve been seeing each for quite some time. You enjoy his/her company. He/she seems like a great person. You like him/her a lot and now you want to start spending more together and become a steady, monogamous couple. But there’s one problem: he/she doesn’t want to commit to just one person. Your flame has commitment-phobia.

This situation is played out numerous time across the globe – one partner wants a steady, monogamous relationship while the other wants to continue to date around. See other people. Keep his/her freedom. Continue to play the field.

And, ladies, it’s not just us men, either. I’ve met more than a few women who choked and gagged at the mere mentioning of the “c” word. Commitment-phobia isn’t confined to either particular sex. Anybody can fear being “tied down”. And they very often fear for the same reasons. Commitment-phobia is an individual thing, not a man or woman thing.

Question is, what do in this situation? This question has been asked a gazillion times and only those of us who have been in this predicament can fully understand the difficulty it poses. The answer is pretty obvious but many of those in this situation failed to see it that way. They often continue to cling on in hopes that the partner will change his/her mind. It almost always ends in heartbreak. There is only one thing to do: let this person have his/her “freedom” back so you can move on. There are plenty of reason why:

1. Being in a commitment means being in a serious, steady monogamous relationship built on trust. So, if this person doesn’t want a commitment then chances are that you will be sharing this person with others.
2. Since this person has made it clear that he/she isn’t going to be solely committed to you, you will always be wondering what he/she is doing when you are not together. When you try to make plans to be together and he/she can’t make it because of “other plans” you will be wondering what those other plans are.
3. This person will be using you. Ever notice how it seems like you never see two commitment-phobes getting together? This is because commitment-phobes prefer being with someone who wants a commitment, reason being is that they know that they’ll always have you to fall back on in case other plans don’t work. They feel safe and secure knowing that you’ll always be available. If you stay with this person you will be a doormat.
4. If someone doesn’t want a commitment or is scared of commitment, nothing you say will make them change their minds. Don’t try to negotiate with promises of more space or freedom. This will put you at their mercy and give them greater incentive to take full advantage of you.

It can be difficult to walk away form someone you thought was “the one” but you’ll savign yourself form a potential heartbreak and you’ll be making yourself available for someone who want s a commitment. Don’t thing that the reason why this person doesn’t want commitment is because of something you did wrong. If you’re good enough for this person to date frequently then the problem isn’t you.