Action Sammy’s Dating Tips: The Difference Between Complimenting and Flirting

“Mmmh, you look good enough to eat today!” Okay, real quickly boys and girls, what’s wrong with this statement? Some may say nothing. Others may say it’s just a compliment or just harmless flirting. From one partner to another, surely nothing would be wrong with it. Many people make similar statements to their partners. It helps keep the relationship fresh. However, there is generally no need for such statements toward a co-worker or friend. Surely, they don’t need to be reminded in such a provocative way that you value their professional skills or friendship. Therefore, made to any other individual, such a statement could be taken the wrong way. What other way can it be taken?

People who flirt always call it “harmless flirting”, insisting that there is nothing wrong with their actions. They say that it helps lighten the mood, that it’s entertaining and that it is all part of having fun. Some even compare flirting to complimenting, insisting that there is not much of a difference.

Uh, excuse me? Now how can there be any similarity between complimenting and flirting? This is what you call a compliment: “You look great today.” This is what you call flirting: “You look delicious today.” Now, of course, the difference isn’t always so clear. Certain body language accompanying the remark can give it an undertone of flirting. Even adding certain extra words to the statement can make look like flirting. “Mmmh, you sure look great today” instead of simply, “You look great today” can give the statement a little too much affection.

Another difference between complimenting and flirting would be the frequency in which you give a compliment. Flirters often have a tendency of constantly repeating the “compliment” numerous times, such as, “You really look great today” followed up about two minutes later by, “I just want to say once again that you really look great today!” Or, some will simply increase the emphasis in their statements like, “You really look great today” followed up about two minutes later by, “I swear you really look great today”.

Body language can also play an important role in determining the difference between a compliment and a flirt. In fact, body language alone can be flirtatious. Although flirts generally avoid outright groping they will still often touch the object of their desires in other ways that only someone born seconds ago could be duped into believing it’s just “harmless” flirting. Some flirts have a tendency to be overly affectionate, sometimes keeping someone in a suspended hug, putting an arm around the person while talking or even stroking the person’s arm or shoulder in a suggestive way or playing with the person’s hair. Only the most extremely bold flirts will attempt a mouth-to-mouth kiss although many will constantly kiss the person of their attention on the cheek. Some women have been known to sit in the lap of a man even if he is already taken while some men would place their hands around the waist of woman who is taken.

Now, please tell me how all of this can be compared to making a compliment. And while no one has ever been hospitalized from being flirted with, how can this be dismissed as “harmless” flirting? Why is it necessary to communicate such affection to someone who you would be quick to insist that you have no romantic interest in?