Action Sammy’s Dating Tips: To be Friends or Not to be Friends

That is the question. One of the biggest and most frequently asked questions in the arena of relationships, perhaps because the answer isn’t always the same. Some will give a flat-out “no” and some will give a flat-out “yes” and others will have to have the entire story. Those who say no insist that remaining friends makes it harder to get over the break-up and move on with your life while those who say yes say that remaining friends shows that you that hold no grudges toward one another. Others say that whether or not to remain friends depends on how you broke-up and what’s at stake.

Almost everyone, regardless of which answer they give, will be quick to say that if there are children involve then it is wise to maintain some kind of civil attitude towards one another. If the two of you happen to work at the same place then having to maintain some kind of peace would be unavoidable as well. If you attend the same church or go to the same club, etc., then occasional contact is possible.

But even with aforementioned possibilities, it is not necessary to continue to be friends, at least not in the true sense of the word. If there are children involved there will certainly be times when the two of you must sit down and talk. Being on one another’s good side will be essential for the children’s welfare, at least while they’re still young. If you are co-workers, continuing a decent professional relationship is possible without being real friends. And you can continue to hang out at the same places without having to bumping into one another unless you absolutely want to.

Otherwise, after a break-up, remaining friends may not be in your best interests. In order to heal and move on steps should be taken to avoid one another at all costs. Many people are quick to assume that you are mortal enemies if you’re not talking to one another. This is completely untrue. You don’t have to be cold-blooded enemies out to make each other’s life miserable like in a primetime soap but you don’t have to be friends, either. If I saw one my ex-ladies hanging off of a cliff for dear life I wouldn’t let her fall. I would immediately rush right over, grab her by the hair and yank her up! Refusing to see one another will not make you enemies and it will not mean you’re holding a grudge. Even making all possible attempts to avoid being in the place at the time doesn’t mean you hate each other. It simply means that you’re trying to move on.

Getting over a relationship can be tough enough. You don’t need the extra challenge of having unnecessary contact with the ex. Of course, there’s no need for absolute, outright hostility, either. Not remaining friends will not make you enemies.