Are You a Gossiper or an Intelligent Gossiper?

Everyone gossips. Don’t deny it (I’m pretty sure some of the gentlemen reading this would put their hands up and say “I’ve never gossiped in my life!”) but let’s get real, everyone has done it and probably will gossip in the future. Even though gossiping is looked upon very badly, gossiping actually has its own benefits. Many studies say that gossiping is a good way to encourage conversation and social contact. So ladies, if you have a female friend at work that you don’t get on with particularly, try gossiping about, say your boss and you should notice that the slagging off does actually pay off because conversation runs more smoothly when you express yourself without any hesitation. Studies have also shown that gossiping helps to reduce anxiety and stress because this way, any frustration or worries can be shared with someone, meaning that you don’t have to keep it bottled within you and leave it to fester.

Gossiping can be positive or negative. A small amount of harmless gossiping isn’t dangerous at all. This type of gossiping involves just passing on information to one another. This way you are just making conversation without hurting anyone. But the other type of gossiping can be quite detrimental to human relations and this is the negative type of gossiping. This type of gossiping is aimed at hurting a person’s feelings or making rumours. Once these rumours are made, these then continue to make matters worse for you.

So how can you gossip and be intelligent?

Here’s how. There are two types of gossipers, the intelligent gossipers and the…well, not so intelligent ones. Below are some ways you can see which category you belong to.

First, let’s look at the unintelligent gossipers. Unintelligent gossipers always run head first into any gossip or an argument. These are the sort of gossipers that walk towards a situation where there is conflict. There is a reason as to why they do that and that is because they want to know what is happening in the argument so that they have their own source of reliable information.  But this can be unwise because if you are present in a gossip circle or an argument, you are easily targeted even if you weren’t actually involved in the argument. People can use you to back their claims. By quoting what you may have said in the gossip circle, you feed yourself to those other people waiting to exploit the gossip you have (painstakingly) found out yourself. Unintelligent gossipers are the talkers. They give out the information rather than getting it, most of the time. Unintelligent ones are the ones that look for gossip and give it out anyway.