I have found that it is easier to talk to a beautiful woman when the expectation is not present.
I have to be totally honest with you. I have had a lot of interesting and fascinating conversations with women that were moderately attractive and a lot of interesting and curious close encounters with ugly women I should probably keep to myself. But when it comes to beautiful women I do not know what to say to them. If they are aggressive and a great conversationalist themselves I can fall into that groove but if they are looking for me to say something to them and I am looking for something to say it can become very awkward and uncomfortable.
What I have found is that I can become a good, close friend with someone who is beautiful or “hot” by societies terms. Too comfortable for my own good because I won’t pursue her or even try to get into the sack. I may have never realized that the opportunity existed if it did, or was not looking for it or did not do anything to create that opportunity for myself. I had the rejection and the pain of thinking that a thousand miles existed between me and that hot girl just like every other young man had. I was even idealistic and played that game of “sitting back” while all of the other men tried to “holler” at a hot girl. Women are not curious and they do not want to know what you are about when you play that game. They simply walk away with the man that had the most confidence that left an impression on them.
When they do talk to you it is as a friend, because when you refused to take that opportunity to talk to them you basically said that you were a friend in so many words. You said that you would always be there for them, and always provide a shoulder for them to lean on and were there to support them if they ever needed to open up and talk about another guy. Now I am a lot older, am married and the hot girls are either married, have been divorced or they have a few kids of their own. They are more receptive to me now than they were when they were eighteen, twenty one or twenty five. I see other men talking to them and trying to get close to them because they are so cute, so hot, so insatiable and what those men would give for a piece of them. What would I do if I were in their place?
I wouldn’t “sweat them”, that is for sure. I do not regret ever having talked to beautiful women because that is human nature and what everyone goes through. I may not have had the relationships that I wanted to have at the time, but I would not have met my wife if I did. Society places too great of an importance over the beautiful, materialistic woman that you are going to empty your pockets for and go out of your way to create a comfortable lifestyle for when she may not be for you. Young men are going to meet hundreds of beautiful women in their lifetime and should not jump at the opportunity to get with each and every one they come across. I cannot tell you how many times I thought I was going in on a cute girl when someone else that looked even better came along. Sometimes that “someone else” was even easier to get along with than the girl I was trying to impress.
It is easier to talk to girls when there is not any pressure to talk to them. When you are in relationships, when you are married, or when you are responsible for someone else you may find that it is easier to talk to women than when you are alone. You do not have to preoccupy yourself with whether or not she likes you, you do not have to daydream about her and you do not have to fantasize about her. You can get on with your life and you see her whenever you see her. At the same time, if someone who is not necessarily a “dime” or a “ten” is interested in you, and you do find them to be attractive you may as well go ahead and see what that is about. In the time that you do that you could still be waiting for that other girl to give you the time of day, and you could have missed out on a good opportunity. Once you actually get to know the other girl you may realize that she is not so bad after all, and your tastes, preferences, likes or dislikes, might actually change.
If it does not work out you may not be as interested in the first girl, or you may have a different perspective or outlook on that situation. The confidence in which you approach her, if you approach her at all, could give you more of an opportunity than what you had previously. I was never able to get back in because I was not good at keeping the fact of what I was doing to myself. So the first girl would want to see if you are willing to work “that much harder” or figure that she was a second choice because if she was not you would not settle for anything or anyone else. But it really depends on what you wanted that first girl for anyway. If you were not truly interested in getting to know her, and was just looking for someone to keep you warm at night, then she really was a second choice because someone else who thought you were their first choice gave you a chance.
It wasn’t that often that I could really, honestly, say that I wanted that first girl for anything more. For one I didn’t know her, for another I didn’t really get to know her. I could have been that friend forever but you get tired of hearing about what people are going through and you want to get into a situation of your own. That is the problem with talking to beautiful women; too often you aren’t really listening to them and you are just going through the motions to get what you want from them. They know it and that is part of the reason why they are so difficult for you to get with in the first place. Unless they want the exact same thing from you one may as well forget it; even if they do if someone else plays up to the same sensibilities that you refuse to entertain that other guy is going to be sleeping with her.
No one ever said that talking to women was easy. But you have to broaden your horizons and be willing to do things you were not prepared to do and open your mind up to new things in order to get the person that is right for you. When you do not know who you are and are at the whim of a beautiful woman you will continue to be miserable. When you take control of the situation and are not as easy to push around women will actually want to be with you. When you do not know who you are a woman may deal with you, but it is not a serious relationship unless you want it to be. One guy complains about being a sexual object and another man may wish that someone would use him for sex. No one gets everything that they want when they want it, regardless of what it looks like from the outside. If you are attracted to the woman and she is attracted to you leave well enough alone, because the moment you become obsessed with her good looks (or lack of) misery is right around the corner …