Attract a Significant Other

Most people are clueless here when in the beginning stages of romantic relationships. Their prospective partner either considers them too open, too secretive, uncaring, or self absorbed. Let the other person talk about their dreams, desires, interests, and experiences and share yours without being overwhelming or dominating conversations. Try to avoid cutting the other person off in mid sentence out of excitement, or frustration and if you do apologize for it as soon as you realize you are doing it. Remember their name, and us it often.

Tears or a Clown?

A couple of games people play in new relationships are, playing the sympathy card, or being overly goofy, all the time. People who play the sympathy card in relationships usually do not get too far in them. After all who wants a truckload of problems dumped on them in the initial stages of a romantic relationship.

On the other hand there are those who act the fool to attract others. These folks can never be serious for a minute and somehow believe that being on stage all of the time will make them more attractive to their intended. This works until the other person has a serious moment and needs the other to listen for awhile, being with them, instead of in the center ring. The whole clown act is another defense game that is also born out of fear of loss. When trying to attract a potential mate or in the opening stages of a relationship just be you.

Be the best you that you can be. Is is so hard to be yourself? You have been being you all your life. I can guarantee that if you play one of these roles to get with or stay with a lover that you will be miserable until you can be completely yourself around that person.

This is not to say you cannot show emotions of sadness, and cannot be silly and fun. It is important to have a good sense of humor and be real with your feelings. For a romantic relationship to prosper both partners need to be there for each other in sad times as well as silly ones. It needs to be real, not a ploy to dupe a partner.

Painting by William Adolphe Bouguereau, The Proposal, from Wikimedia

Isn’t What’s on The Inside What Matters?

Yes, what is inside of you is what matters the most. However, it is most likely not in the way you are thinking of the phrase “It’s what’s on the inside that matters”. If you are a person that mopes around about how great you are on the inside and no one sees what is on the inside in you, then you must be wrong. They most definitely are seeing what is on the inside within you. They are seeing, or feeling, a person who is mopey about being alone. Would you want to be with a mopey person? I did not think so. If you have this type of attitude the only people you will attract are others who are in the same state and if you begin to come out of this depressed state because you find yourself in a “loving” relationship and the other does not, it can cause serious complications and maybe even a loss of the relationship

It is much better to work on personal happiness before you try to find happiness in a relationship. It has been said so many time that people need to learn to love themselves before they can love anyone else fully. The reason for this is because it is the most important part of love. If you don’t truly love yourself it is hard if not impossible to love anything else or anyone else.

Other Links

What Men Find Sexy

What Women Find Sexy

What Men Find Too Sexy

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