Steve Harvey appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show on Friday promoting his new book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”. Harvey, one of the Original Kings of Comedy was not only hilarious, he provided some valuable information to women on how to get it right in relationships, or how to turn a date into a relationship.

His main point was that you pretty much get what you demand, or simply put; the higher a woman’s self-esteem, the better the treatment she’s likely to receive.

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Some of the points covered by Steve Harvey, all of which are in his book included:

Men Always Have a Plan

Men know from the beginning of a relationship just how they would like a woman to figure … or not figure in their lives. One of the ways a woman can determine if the relationship is going anywhere, he says, is how a man introduces her to others. For example: “This is my girlfriend, Sarah, or “This is my future wife, Sarah suggests a long-term relationship; while something like, “This is Sarah,” suggests Sarah is simply someone he knows. Period.

Women Set the Standard

Harvey strenuously cautioned against “one night stands.” He used the analogy of a job he had once at an automobile plant, saying … “I had to work 90 days before I could receive any benefits.”

He didn’t receive medical, dental or any kind of benefits until it was determined he was someone the company wanted to keep. His point being, why would women give away something that is (or should be) held in high regard to some guy on a first date. Harvey made it clear that if a man really likes you, he’ll stick around, adding, “Men know when you’re desperate.”

That is a point I made in my spiritual fiction, “The Secret of the Veil’. The character, Alexis goes on a date with her former employer, a handsome, wealthy bank executive and realtor. As they discuss their personal lives, he mentions that although legally separated from his wife, they are still “friends”. Alexis, a woman of high self-esteem is surprised and saddened because she clearly sees where their relationship is probably going; nowhere. She is a woman who clearly understands that men always have a plan. She wisely bows out.

Women Should Use Their Intuition

“God has given you this incredible thing called intuition. Use it,” Harvey said. It’s a fact. That inner voice, or those indefinable feelings (instincts), are often ignored. In our hi-tech society, we have come to depend more on our things than on ourselves. In my article “The Power of Intuition: Listening to Your Feelings ”, I discuss how intuition is one of the most powerful tools in the human arsenal, yet is often ignored.

Although Harvey didn’t use the word self-esteem, that is exactly what his book, and the conversation with Oprah and her audience was really about; women thinking enough of themselves to demand that they are treated well. It seems simple, but for too many women, it’s anything but simple.

Some might argue that Steve Harvey, a comedian might be a questionable source for relationship psychology, but if it’s good advice, the source shouldn’t matter. The segment went so well, Oprah promised to devote an entire show to a discussion of his book at a later time. I hope so. The topic is one that could use as much discussion and examination as possible.

Later articles I wrote on Harvey’s book include:

Steve Harvey Gives Women the Skinny on Men and Relationships on the Oprah Show: Part 2

Steve Harvey’s Book Touches Sensitive Nerve