Beating The Post-wedding Letdown

From the moment you get engaged, people start fussing over you, whether it’s your friends ogling the ring and sighing over the romantic proposal story, or the wedding vendors trying to get your business, being the bride, or even the groom, is an amazing experience. It’s like graduating from high school or college. You’re a senior, you’ve done it! They hold a special ceremony celebrating your greatness and your accomplishments. Parties are thrown, presents and money are freely given, and everyone is fascinated with you, asking you what you’re going to do next, where you’re going. A few weeks later and you’re just another average person trying to get a job or get through their first semester. It’s depressing to get such adulation and praise and then moments later revert back to not-so-specialdom.

 The same letdown occurs after your wedding. You’ve spent months, sometimes years planning, obsessing, spending and thinking about the big day. You’ve invested thousands of dollars, been to dozens of appointments, tasted food, interviewed musicians and had your butt kissed like never before. You are the center of the universe and the wedding is the most important event of your life so far. And then the wedding day comes and it’s amazing. You’ve been special during the planning process but the wedding day is really your day, you are the most beautiful, loved, and important person in the room. The wedding sweeps you right into the honeymoon, which is similarly awesome. Tell anyone you’re on your honeymoon and at the very least they’ll say “Awwww!” and smile at you like you’re special, as you’ve become accustomed to. At the most they’ll upgrade you to first class, or a bigger suite, and send you a bottle of champagne.

Coming home from the honeymoon, you’ll experience the same letdown you get coming home from any vacation. Party is over, time to unpack, do the laundry, and get back to the real world. Only now it’s even worse. Now you’re not just going back to work, you’re going back to being regular. Now you’re just another married man or woman. Like your parents, your boss. Like everyone else around. Who cares? Sure you can ride the wave of talking about your honeymoon and your wedding for a few weeks, but after that, you’re old news. And some people, especially those fairy princess bride types who dreamed of their wedding since they were four years old, get very upset when this happens. They miss flinging their left hand around to show off the new sparkly treasure. They miss discussing the pros and cons of a live band versus a DJ for hours with others who understand how important this decision is. They miss the free cake, the sucking up, and the notion that because they are getting married they are special. And because of the lack of fawning, these type of people start to feel they are in a rut, and that it is marriage that is boring, their spouse that is the problem, rather than recognizing that this is a natural way to feel after such a buildup and what is, in most cases, a very fun event.