Beating The Post-wedding Letdown

It’s important to remember that your new spouse is the whole reason you had that big party, and that the purpose wasn’t to wear a fabulous white dress, it was to build a life with this person that you were madly in love with. So much so that you put on a white dress, forced your friends to wear matching satin dresses, and spent thousands of dollars on a party in which you threw a bouquet, smashed extraordinarily expensive cake in your face, and did the YMCA with your closest friends and family members. The point of the wedding was to bring you two together. This is the part you should have been dreaming about since age four. This is the part that counts, and the part that you will have forever.

Take time to mourn the wedding, and the fact that you’re no longer the center of the universe. Open your presents, write your thank you cards. Put all your cool new appliances in your kitchen and imagine the possibilities of all the fun stuff you can make. Have waffles, fondue, and crepes with homemade ice cream now that you have brand new gadgets to create these treats. Use your china, silver, and those 700 thread count sheets you registered for. Enjoy being a newlywed by recognizing that though the big day is over, you are married now, and that comes with a whole new set of fun exciting firsts and adventures. Watch your wedding video. Make a playlist of all of the songs you had at the ceremony and reception so when you have a bad case of the post-wedding blues, you can sing your first dance song and reminisce about how moving it was.

The most important thing you can do to beat letdown depression is to focus on your spouse. Focusing on others and getting outside yourself is always a good way to get out of a funk because it takes you out of the rut of obsessing over every thought and feeling you have. When you’re thinking of others, you don’t have time to think about yourself.  Make the time you spend together special like it was when you were dating. Make special dinners, light candles, and open up a bottle of wine. Go out to eat, to the movies, and out with friends. Don’t seclude yourselves from your friends because you’re married.

Keep a list of things you want to do with your spouse. Write down fun, quirky activities, or wild adventures you’ve always wanted to go on. It could be anything from going to a baseball game, catching butterflies, or watching a meteor shower to going on a safari in Africa or writing a novel. Keep a running list, and when you’re bored you can refer to it and start checking off those little adventures. Doing things together will help intensify your bond, keep things exciting, and help you realize why you chose this person to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage can be exciting, and it is an adventure much more rewarding, satisfying and exciting than the wedding. It’s not hard work, it’s the most important thing about your new life.