Before True Love

How do I know he loves me? How can I know that we are meant for each other? Does love really exist; is there anything like true love? How can I be sure? When does love happen?

The question of true love continues to be a matter of concern for thousands of people, both men and women alike. Everyday, love is professed, like water running through a spring, and by and by, it gets more difficult to tell when true love does happen. It is like finding a needle in a haystack. It gets more difficult even as one gets older, because then, as you ripen, i.e. develop both physically and emotionally, the need for love grows as well, and the pressures of true love prophesies grow. The need and desire to get settled escalates, and then, it becomes almost difficult to tell true love from like or lust.

As a younger girl, I had such pressures myself. This is to say that almost every growing boy or girl will get to this stage, there is no escaping it. But where there lays a difference, is in how you are able to handle the burst of emotion that escapes from you when you see a charming young man walk by, when he winks at you after playing soccer on his way to the dressing room, when he speaks to you of all the girls around, asks you out on a date, touches your hands are you smile shyly on your side of the table, and when he says “I love you”. For the young men, when she pays so much attention to you, especially if she seems to be the “belle” in school, the way she looks up at you from her studying, and whisper your name at to her friends, and at dinner, the way her legs seem to magically rub against yours under the table, then the comes the love prophesy.

Yes, the difference, is how you are able to handle such issues. True love, has its do’s and don’ts, it has rules it follows and strictly adheres to, no matter what your perception of it is. But before, you put on the dancing shoes of love, you MUST be prepared for it, so that you don’t slip on the long run, with a deep emotional hurt.

Before you love, you must be:

1. Mature: Yes, even in age. You cannot expect to be 12 and in love, and expect that your future marriage depends on this. It does happen “yes” but in extremely rare cases. At a very tender age, you still have a heart to explore, and make friends, and adventure, how steady are you then to hold on to a lasting relationship. Besides, you have still got your studies to focus on, and a lot more to learn from life. Remember that maturity is not always about the age too. There are people in their 20’s that are still not mature, the most important thing is first get the emotional stability before you quest for love, and then know your priorities, which brings us to our next point.
2. Your Priorities: Being in a relationship is a very secondary issue, as compared with your studies. We do not study for anyone else but ourselves. So our success in life is ultimately in our hands. If you get into a relationship or are in a relationship when you are waist deep in a very important stage of your academics, the be sure to carry a lot of burden. I have known people that have failed exams and academic years due to a heartbreaks from their relationships. If you are a student, your studies become your main priority, and you should keep it as that. Every other thing follows.
3. Plan Ahead: You should have along term plan for where you want any relationship to lead you to. Or else of course you want to be one of those that have plans to tick out names of past and present boyfriends and girlfriends from a long list. Before you get into a relationship, you should be able to ask yourself, “what do I want from this”. I believe a long term relationship should be focused on ending in marriage.
4. Keep Your Integrity: that is if you want to have respect in your relationship. If you have always been known to be wayward and careless, you cannot expect a relationship better than waywardness and carelessness. If you want respect, respect yourself. Mind the way you dress, your approach towards people, remember first impressions matter, and the news of who we are spread fast.
5. Caution yourself at all times. You alone can tell yourself the truth. Don’t rely on other peoples views to tell you that you are ready for a relationship. Only you can know when you are ready for one.
6. Humble yourself at all times in order to attract responsible people
7. Improve on your knowledge base. You don’t want to date a brilliant person when you have nothing to offer intellectually. I am not saying that in your relationship, you should compete with one another, but at least you should both be knowledgeable so as to have something to talk about, and so also to fit in with the right class of people.
8. Be prepared to abstain from sex

Sex is not a test of TRUE love. That has been a misconception for several years, and unfortunately will be for a long time still coming. As a matter of fact, having sex before marriage tells how much he or she does not love you, depending on who instigates it. Having premarital sex gives a degrading mindset of one on his or her date. It does not bring respect.

These are just a few points. There is much more to know, but we can start work on ourselves with these. Lets help to build ourselves and our world for the better by learning to love the right way.