Beginners Guide To Niceness – First steps in how to think like a saint

No-one ever feels like they are nice, but with the right outlook on life you can cultivate being nice, train yourself, and eventually with practice and perseverance (and possibly quite a lot of divine intervention) be a truly nice person.

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Demeanour

The way you hold yourself speaks volumes to everyone who looks at you. If you are scowling or frowning, people will not approach you. If that is what you want, then that’s all well and good, but you will get a perhaps undeserved reputation as someone who isn’t very nice, and you won’t know why.

Smile. It’s a very difficult habit to get into. If you look round today as you walk down the street, you will see that most people aren’t smiling. If you look at yourself, you will realise that you aren’t either. Just a teensy turn up of the mouth can make a difference to how you appear, and if you can make your eyes sparkle then that’s the clincher.

Try for a while to hold your face in a semi-smile. Every time you think about it, try to hold a smile for the count of ten. You may be surprised at how natural it feels after only a few weeks. You will forget most of the time. Don’t worry.

Thanks

Give thank-yous where they are due. Thank people for things that they have done for you. Even something that they do every day, and don’t really expect thanks for. i.e. “Thanks for doing dinner every day, babe. It’s so nice to come home to a meal ready on the table. I really appreciate it.”

Actively look for things to thank people for, and you may be surprised at how much you do have to be thankful for. It will lighten your mood, and make you feel happier, and more able to be nice in your everyday life.

Greetings

When you see people, greet them with a hello and a smile. If you don’t know them and don’t really want to, then you don’t need to introduce yourself, just an “Alright?” is considered socially acceptable as well as making people feel like you have acknowledged them. It will also train you to notice people who can be helped.

Sometimes it’s better to say “Hello” with a “Good to see you”, or some other non-questioning statement. That sends the message that you are giving without expecting anything in return. It will feel unnatural at first, and it may not bring immediate results, but keep it up and your message will get across.