Blind Date

Dear Huggable14,

You sound fantastic and make me quite curious about you. I think we have many things in common like dogs, a dislike for mechanical things, and a need to get out more. How do you like the idea of meeting this week? I am really looking forward to hearing from you. Sincerely,

Desperado29

Dear Desperado,

You sound rather interesting too. How long have you been a member of HotDates.com? Yes I’d like to meet you too. I hope your “handle” doesn’t mean that I’ll be asked to meet you in the local jail and to bring an oversized nail file.

Huggable14

Dear Huggy,

I’m thrilled that you are willing to meet me. How does Tuesday at 8 pm sound just in front of the police station? I should be released by then. Your profile doesn’t include a photo so how will I recognize you? Hugs to you,

Des

Dear Des,

Don’t worry, I’ll recognize you. Besides, you will still have the cuffs on – right? But to give you some assurances I’ll be wearing either a very low cut red dress or a not-too-badly-stained tee shirt with minor cigar burns & baggy jeans with no knees. Why do you want to meet so late?

Huggy

Dearest Huggy,

I’m sure you will look fantastic whatever you wear – or not. The reason for the late hour is because I have to get the artificial arm fixed because one of the hooks fell off while I was putting in a contact lens, then I have to get my glass eye glued back together because it shattered when it popped out from bumping my head on a truck’s rear side mirror while crossing the street, then get three teeth re-cemented into my dentures & 8 stiches removed from my upper lip and 22 from the stump of my tongue. The trucker was a little upset when I broke his mirror. I did not stick my tongue out at him. I was choking on an ice cream cone. Then I have to get my good eye patch, chartreuse satin, from the cleaners – never look up at squawking seagulls, get my white cane repainted because it’s pretty banged up and has awful truck tire marks all over it, clean the flea powder out of my wig, get more pancake to cover the burn scars, and buy recycled colostomy bags while they are still on sale. All this preparation takes time my love. I want to look my very best. Love, Desdo

Dear Des,

Something doesn’t make sense. You don’t appear to have either an eye patch or a glass eye in your profile picture. How come you have both? Surely you can see otherwise you wouldn’t have been disappointed by the lack of a picture in my profile. While we are being honest here, I may have exaggerated about my size and age. By the way, my name is really Gigantia. You can call me Gigi. What’s your real name?

Dearest Gigi,

I’m not concerned about your size as long as you are not concerned about mine. You’d be amazed at how many people want to look under my eye patch. I had a spring loaded eye for a while but it gave me headaches and it was often hard to find the eye after it went flying. I gotta have something in the socket don’t I? I do have a lot of trouble seeing but I have an intelligent wheel chair that follows Hyena’s (my Seeing Eye dog’s) radio collar. I’m much more into “tactile” these days. The picture was taken just before my horrific accident with the lawn mower. I sustained a deep gash in my right middle finger. Then there was that mad, panicked drive to the emergency room…. Of course I’m leaving out a few details. Like the time Hyena’s homing battery died while I was approaching the far end of the pier the other night. I’m saving those stories for when we meet tomorrow. I’m really “looking” forward to “seeing” you. By the way, everyone calls me Lucky.

“Hi! I’m Desperado! Are you Gigi? Huggable14?”

Gigi slowly turned around wondering how he could get behind her without a sound. She noticed his boots first. They were black, shiny, gleaming even. Slowly she raised her gaze and followed his form upward. At her eye level she squeaked, “Oh My God!”

Slowly he lifted his head until his gaze showed through the gloom from under the stockman’s hat. The full length dark coat stirred as a dog’s head appeared. When she saw it she immediately knew why the dog’s name was Hyena. She immediately jumped back and regretted putting on her short red dress. It didn’t go with hyenas besides, where’s the horse? She didn’t feel “lucky” at all.

He noticed her discomfort and tried to put her at ease with a smile.

“I’d love to get to know the real you over a cup of coffee. Is that café across the street OK with you? I see you exaggerated a bit too.”

He winked with sparkling dark eyes that outshone his boots and a generous white smile that was proportional to his strong wide shoulders and as he reached for her hand and said “I sure am lucky!”