Breaking Up is Hard to Do And Even Harder to Talk About: One Woman’s Observations

We’ve all been through it.  We’ve invested months or years in a relationship that ends in break-up and disappointment. Most people mean well and try to help us through the pain, but the expressions they use may not be particularly helpful.   Here’s a light-hearted look at a difficult subject intended to make you nod in agreement or perhaps help you smile through the tears. 

1) There Are More Fish In the Sea–I personally hate it when the well intentioned use this expression.    I am looking for a lifetime partner, not the broiled special.  At that particular moment when it’s all come tumbling down, I want that particular fish not all the others.  It’s dating, not swimming upriver to spawn.

2) It’s Not You, It’s Me–No matter how dishonest your partner has been in the past, how you’ve overlooked it, or  explained it away… Give your partner credit for being particularly insightful on this point.  If he has so failed to recognize you marvoulosness, beauty and profound intelligence, he is truly defective and needs to be thrown back.  Give it time, you just haven’t found your equal yet.

3)I Told You So—After your partner has done the dumping, friends around you will begin enumerating his faults to you intending to help you feel better.  You will be put in a position to defend your choice.  Yeah, he was bad for you. He treated you unkindly, but you chose him and it is hard to admit you might have been wrong especially when emotionally vulnerable.  Walk away from these “helpful” friends and go find some Rocky Road.  You’ll feel a lot better.

4) Aren’t You Glad This Happened Now and Not After You Were Married?  The answer to this one is well, no.  The foregone conclusion is that you two would marry one day and that’s not going to happen.  Thank your friend for the reminder and go exchange the wedding dress for a nice pair of leather pants.

5) Time Heals All Wounds—The granddaddy of all useful advice, this is the reminder that in time you’ll get over it and perhaps be able even to get out of bed.  It will happen, but right now you are gapping like a gunshot wound.  Try to take care of yourself, honor your feelings—good and bad—and know whatever they say, your friends love you and mean well.