Broken Hearts Will Mend

You can also use this excuse when your friends ask why you were dumped. Then find a village girl with hair standing on end like a demon and marry her fast before you realize she is a lemon. Give her ten children one after the other; tie her down before she becomes wise to your deception. It never fails to work in Africa even in these modern times.

If she leaves you, count yourself lucky; you can go female shopping no holds barred. Try clubbing all night but remember to take your condoms as well. Babies are lovely but AIDS is not. If there is any consolation it must be in the fact that there are more women in the world than men. In fact for every man there are about five women or more. Smile!

Being dumped does horrid things to your ego especially if you were married and in love with the wife. Get a new haircut; get some new clothes Get some elders together with lots of booze and money and chase her back to her father’s house where she will no doubt be. Get the entire family blotto drunk then drag her back home by the hair. Put her in her place you Male the Aggressor. That used to work in the days of cave men but it could still work today, who knows? But please do watch out for WAJU O. They could get Conan the Barbarian behind bars if he assaulted the Queen of Thieves or so they say. Don’t ask which Bar…certainly not Liquid.

If she leaves you do not cry, turn your back and say bye bye.

Seriously now, if she leaves you and you love her, woo her back but if you don’t, leave her alone. She’s probably just fed up; she wants to be free of who? You! who else? Find yourself another wife but remember to divorce the first one and pay alimony; avoid parsimony, or you could be hauled off to court for bigamy.

Just remember, if all else fails, that, no one gets out alive.