Can We Rely on Romantic Love?

What is that magical feeling that everyone feels such a strong and urgent need to chase after?  Everyone has experienced it, but not many have held onto it.  Divorce rates are at an all time high, because so many people are known to embrace that feeling and lunge into it feet first, but with very little to sustain their relationship in the long term.  But what is it about that feeling that makes a long-term relationship so hard to sustain?   

You could say that we don’t truly show our true selves to a potential partner until well into a relationship; that we portray a certain level of perceived perfection intentionally to better draw a mate.  But if this were truly the reason, why would it be something so fleeting?  If it was a matter of just deciding to continue showing your “perfect” side to your partner, more people would be able to do so for a much longer period of time.  In fact, the “three month, three year” phenomena wouldn’t be so undoubtedly common.

It is commonly known that an overwhelming number of relationships don’t make it past the three month mark.  And those that do have yet another obstacle to overcome at the three year mark.  But what about these times is so important that they can simply make or break a relationship? 

The sense of newness is something each human being is built to drive for.  Not only in relationships but in life.  More people have more jobs in a lifetime than we did 20 years ago; a statistic on an exponential increase.  Applying this same logic, our grandparents come from a time when it wasn’t uncommon for a person to only ever enter one relationship.  After three months, when the “perfect facade” is lifted, you start to learn that the person you are with is just another human being.  Nobody wants to be with just another human being.  Every woman wants prince charming, and every man wants his supermodel/nurse/housewife.

But what about the relationships that make it beyond three months?  These are the people who are resigned to the fact that they will never meet that perfect somebody that can forever make their eyes light up, and their body tingle at only a glance.  These are the people who have already been in more than one relationship.  Of course, there is the few exceptions, as there is to any rule, but the vast majority of relationships which make it beyond three months are between two people who have already participated in a failed relationship. 

But what about three years?  Undoubtedly, any relationship ending at three years is simply a true mis-match.  Even the poorest of compatibility can stand each other this long.  This is the point where if the relationship ends, each partner has what can only be referred to as a complete mental breakdown.  They have literally wasted three entire years of their lives with a person they have finally discovered they can’t even stand to be around.  (And if only they hadn’t.)

But there is hope.  There is the exceptions to the rule.  For any of you on year four?  Congratulations.  And for those of you on your fourth or fifth month, with what can only be described as the perfect partner, we all wish to be you.  You are the exception.  The thought of one day being you is what makes life worth living.