Can Your Marriage Work? Three Simple Steps to a Great Marriage
by There are a lot of married people living in a state of emotional divorce! They are not actually divorced, and they may actually seem to casual observers to have a reasonably good married life, but deep down, they have decided that things cannot work for their marriages and that the only way to live is parallel lives!
It’s surprising how many couples actually live like this, they have separate bedrooms and living spaces despite sharing a house!
Most problems in marriage come from misunderstanding each other.
1) “Love Languages”:
It’s likely that unless you’re in some small minority of married people that your spouse has a different “love language” to yours. It’s very natural to expect that your spouse will relate to things in the same way that you do, but it doesn’t always work out like that!
Look, wives: your husband may feel loved if you give him a back rub, but you want him to buy you flowers!
Look, husbands: you may love it when she buys you that suit, but she may want you to give her a foot massage instead.
Equal yet different displays of affection!
2) Different Backgrounds
You don’t need to be from a different country to your spouse to have a different outlook on life! You are a product of your upbringing.
Your family’s circumstances will play a huge part in how your marriage plays out. What was acceptable in your parents’ marriage growing up, may not be acceptable in yours now.
3) Different ways of understanding things
The way men and women understand a thing is fundamentally different. It’s all chemistry and biology! It’s all related to hormones! I won’t pretend to be a medical doctor, but I will let you know as a therapist, we can help you cope with the different ways of seeing things to get to know and understand each other better!
The Point
The point is this: it’s not abnormal to have misunderstandings, and even disputes, in marriage. The point is: are you willing to learn and discover and grow in this area by putting in the effort and learning? If you want to learn more, there is plenty of information on my webpage to help you, and if you need some deeper help, it’s available too!
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