Cheating: It Takes Two to Tango
by Blaming cheating behavior on other people or events is a cop-out that will only keep you in unhealthy, dead-end relationships. This article focuses on the real reasons people in relationships break-up: selfish choices and the people that make them.
If your mates “friends” are acting inappropriately they are only doing so at the invite or allotment of your mate.
If your mate’s family oversteps boundaries, they are doing so because your mate has not drawn any lines.
If your mate wasn’t cheating or running the streets before they bought a car, don’t blame the car. That car has no more power over your mate’s behavior than you do. Blame your mate because in all actuality, if he/she really didn’t want to be out in the street they wouldn’t be. Car or no car.
No, he/she isn’t cheating because “they’re young” and “just don’t know how to act.” Cheating, the lack of integrity or morals are not a sign of youth or couth. It is what it is: a lack of integrity, self-respect or respect for commitment. Period.
And no, contrary to popular belief, cheating and lying are not encoded in the male DNA. All men do not cheat and lie like rugs and by fostering this false sense of manhood with male behavior we only add to many of the debilitating myths about men. Men make choices, plain and simple.
See my point? It’s all about choices. If someone makes the choice to be dishonest and unconscionable, they make a choice. No one or nothing can make them do anything that they are not willing to do. If that was really the case (them being able to be ”made” to do bad things), then why aren’t you able to “make” them be faithful, loyal and conscientious?
Food for thought…
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Post CommentMick
On January 27, 2009 at 7:39 pm
True but what about the women that know you have a girl or wife and still want to be down with you. They don’t care that I’m tryin to be faithful. Then if I don’t give into they advances I’m called a punk a– bit–. Whats up with that?!
Women try to act all innocent but the truth is they love competing against another woman for they man. Even my ex feel like cause we got history I should be fine with her wanting to hit it every now and then. The world is crzy. ya’ll want us to please u in different ways. what is a man to do with so many women wanting him???
Evarista
On January 28, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Hi Mick,
Women ‘throwing” themselves at a man that they know is married or involved are only baiting you.
Their lack of respect for your situation should not be taken as a sign that you, yourself, are a hot catch (not that I’m implying you aren’t), but that they have no integrity and do not care about your situation, only their agenda.
Should you pursue them, be prepared to have anything but a meaningful relationship. Anyone that will cheat with you, will cheat on you.
If you’re taunted for not cheating, I suggest you ignore these people and be mindful where and with whom you spend your time.
Yes, some women like negative competition, but these are not the types of women you should be dating, friends with let alone in a relationship with. Tell them to go kick rocks or sign them up for an audition for the reality show ‘Bad Girls.’
Best of luck to you.
cheated on man
On April 2, 2009 at 4:56 pm
It does take two but dont you think one is more of the aggressor??
Evarista
On April 2, 2009 at 10:29 pm
@ Cheated on Man: Aggressor? You mean forcing the other to have an affair or remain in an affair? Well if that\’s the case, that is called domestic abuse and I suggest that person get law enforcement involved. Anyone \”forcing\’ you to stay in an affair by threat or coercion is committing a crime.
On a lighter note, sometimes I think people use that as an excuse to justify being in a relationship that is inappropriate, but they just can\’t bear to leave. No one can force you stay in a relationship if you do not want to be there. Thank you for commenting!