Cheating Spouse Puts The Blame on Past Hurts

Many relationships and marriages are based on lies and secrets that never was confronted before the wedding day which leads to problems later on.  In marriage your partner needs to know where you been in order to get to where you are trying to go.  A women that has been hurt several times in the past may get jumpy whenever their spouse is talking on the phone in another room or takes to long to get home from work.  After several arguments about the spouses wear-abouts the partner decides to sneak and do stuff just to avoid any confrontation.  Your partner will eventually get annoyed over you getting upset every time a co worker or friend of the opposite sex speaks to your spouse. If you don’t talk about your problems your own destructive assumptions will cause your marriage to fail.  Many people who have been cheated on so many times can never truly trust another person fully unless that have a long time to heal.  Talking about your past with your partner before the wedding bells will help them understand you better and help you cope with your problem.  Many infedility victims left hurt and scarred may still have allot of healing to get through before they are prepared to get married.  Just talking your problems over with your partner helps you heal. 

If your spouse accepts your past and still wants to be with you then they may have to do some things to help them heal.  Your spouse may need to call you if they have to work late, or introduce you to foreign people of the opposite sex that you run into.  Your spouse may also need to reassure you of their love more often.  Whenever you start to feel insecure in your marriage you may need to talk right away with your spouse and get things off your chest.  A person that has been hurt very bad may not trust having company of the opposite sex over and may come up with every excuse in the book why you can’t have company.  If your spouse is like this she is going to have to learn to trust you or you may not be that trustworthy to her by your actions.  If your spouse is over jealous and now the jealousy that use to be cute when you are dating is starting to worry you talk about it with her.  Although its not fair that you have to pay the consequences for someone Else’s actions you loved them enough to marry them. 

Another reason you may need to talk things over with your spouse is sometimes hurt people hurt people.  People that have been hurt may take a conscious decision to hurt others before they get hurt again.  So if your partner admits that they have been hurt several times by a cheating partner in previous relationships they may decide to cheat first if they suspect you may try to hurt them again.  The best way you can prevent this from happening especially if you are married is to help them heal the hurt.  Constantly talk about how they feel and do things to help them gain trust for you.  If you are always out all times of night and never answer your phone even if you are not cheating to not get hurt your spouse may decide to have an extramarital affair first.