Communication

   Good communication skills are a must in any relationship and yet it is the biggest culprit of misunderstandings in a relationship. Know this though, while most people want to have honesty in their relationship, if you cheat on your significant other it is probable you will loose that person in your life whether you tell them or they find out some other way. It would be better for you to confess to your significant other and chance that lose then to lie about it more then you probably already have. Betrayal is hard to overcome in a relationship of any kind and its memory looms over the betrayed for many years; in most cases.

   Good communication in a relationship is not just the ability to speak to your significant other but to listen as well. After listening don’t be afraid to ask pertinent questions if it may give you a clearer understanding of what the other is saying. The hardest part in this is to listen without being judgmental. That means you must be able to see things from the other person’s point of view.

   How does one accomplish that; you ask? Simply put if you read lots of books and can see the story in your mind’s eye listen as though you are listening to a story and picture it. Most artists have the ability to see things from a variety of views. If you can’t accomplish that you may need relationship or marriage counseling.

   Most men do not see things the way most women do and much of what most women do are lost on men who doesn’t comprehend things. For instance, most women have a mothering instinct, as most people call it; but it is actually a nurturing instinct if you want to be honest about it. For those of you that don’t understand the term “nurturing” I will explain.

   To nurture is to assist in the growth process whether of some thing or some one. In the past most women focused on family issues and home life. They would be their husband’s backbone so to speak, encouraging their husbands behind the scenes to be and do the best they could. Unfortunately those women today are far and few between. Today a lot of women spend a great deal of time being sarcastic; constantly playing “the devil’s advocate;” wanting their lives to be perfect with everyone doing their bidding and or calling people names and putting people down that don’t measure up to their standards or expectations. These people often wonder why they have little to no social life and or why they are rejected by others romantically. Many of these women were not brought up that way but learned it through disappointments and mistreatments of their own experiences and or those of other loved ones around them, such as a: grandparent, parent, sister or brother, etc.