Creating Sparks
by When the feelings of love fade, how do you get them back?
Every couple that has been together for a decent amount of time has surely encountered the questionable feeling that plagues all relationships. Where did the love go? Our minds are tempted to wander to an endless list of questions; all pertaining to why the heck we ever thought this relationship was a good idea!
What now? Will we spiral out of control and ultimately out of love? So many couples take that route, but it isn’t really satisfying. So what can one do? Keep fighting with one another? Mask it all up with kindness?
My top five suggestions for any relationship in this predicament:
1. Talk to a neutral third party together. Important words here are, “Neutral” and “Third Party” and “Together”. Don’t just go spillin’ the beans to your sister or best friend. It may help to consider a licensed marriage counselor as a safe bet.
2. Try to neutralize the negative thought patterns that you are having toward your partner. There are a million things wrong with them, but what is right with them? Anything? List as many things as you can think of…if you’re really daring, then go ahead and share a few of the positives with your partner.
3. Don’t expect your partner to be the first one to make the right move. Too many couples are waiting on each other to improve themselves. Don’t let what you cannot change keep you from changing what you can.
4. Get back on the horse! When you take a first step or two at repairing the relationship, don’t grow weary. Just be consistent and persistent in the right way and your results are sure to follow. It’s only a matter of time!
5. This is my favorite! Every couple knows what really ticks the other person off. Each partner is usually fully capable of designing an improvement plan that they could begin working on the same day. So, try it! You find something that you know you can work on and write it down. Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to fix everything in one day or week. Be realistic and set your goal so that you are challenged.
Great! Any one of the above suggestions are sure to bring you and your partner closer together. The whole thing with the feelings of love is that they are created. Love is a trickle of synapses from your brain to your heart and not only from your heart to your brain. Your nerve centers are responsible for creating your feelings. Your heart is fickle and is easily strayed, but you can teach yourself to think in more healthy ways. You can recreate love by contemplating on your partner in all of the good and meaningful ways that they fulfill your life.
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