Cross-cultural Dating

There are as many opinions on cross-cultural dating as there are people to express them. But the real issue is one of human need for deep connection, companionship, understanding, and yes, sex and love, that can not and will not be dictated to by anyone or anything. Whether a cross-cultural pairing is just an acquaintanceship, a friendship, a work relationship, or a love relationship, we seem to learn more of, and about ourselves in the comparison with, and the interaction between, cultures, races, ethnicities, and religions. Many people are quick to quote hard and fast rules of traditional origin, or rules based in antiquity against such relationships, but a human truth especially of 21st century origin, is that you can’t help who you love, and in many ways, you’re not supposed to. Dating, sex and love are things that occur between two individuals, and as such, are only issues to be regulated by the two people in question. Allowing someone outside of your relationship to dictate whom you should date (or love, if that’s the case), is more like two cultures dating, and that is a much bigger issue than any two people might be able to, or care to tackle, at any one time.

The act of allowing yourself to enter into and experience a relationship with someone from a different culture, race, ethnicity, or religion, is just that, an allowance. By the time you make such an allowance, the desire to do so has not only been born and well formed within you, but it has also been considered well enough, and perhaps nurtured unconsciously, regardless of whether that consideration has existed for a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime. Indeed, many people confide in select family and friends that they have wondered what it might be like to date someone from a different culture, race, ethnicity, or religion; and that is a true estimation of how such yearnings begin. Whether cultural, societal, religious, or ethnic taboos forbid, preclude or weigh heavily upon you to act to the contrary, your life and your choices are always your own. While advice sought and/or received is usually to one’s best interest, an individual must act as an individual if one is to truly experience subjective happiness.

As long as the person under consideration has something of value to offer you, and is in fact seen to be good to you and good for you, dating them can only mean an enriching of the life you experience and lead. Dating, sex and love are pit stops along a continuous spectrum where people usually hope they will progress from least connected to most connected, if it’s assumed that you’re in a relationship with the right person for the right reasons. Only two involved individuals can tell if whom they are with is appropriate, and if what they feel is right. Take some time to examine why you want the relationship and what you stand to gain from it, and honest consideration will usually yield treasured reasons why you find genuine interest in a certain person regardless of culture, race, ethnicity, or religion. The meshing between two or more of these areas will always be what you make it, and be as easy or as hard as communication and compromise will allow.

Remember that immediate attraction lends itself more to chemical and/or hormonal stimulation. But lasting and time-honored attraction are more in the realm of identifying similar inherent qualities in people who are already endowed with the qualities we find stimulating to our hearts, minds, bodies, and spirits. With attraction founded on such deeply-seated personal and subjective levels, it will never matter the origin of their culture, race, ethnicity, or religion. It will only matter how much the two involved individuals want to share and enrich those things.