Dating Aussie Girls
by Aussie girls are in a class of their own and it would be a very brave ‘bloke’ to think he had a chance with an Aussie girl without first knowing the rules of engagement. Our home grown boys have been schooled by their Mums and Dads and whipped into shape by sisters, so they understand those rules well. However if you are planning to hook up with an Aussie girl overseas, or during a visit to the great brown land, there are a few tips you need to follow before casting a line.
Aussie blokes have always had a deep appreciation of Aussie sheilas (that is what we call our women) and their cooking capabilities. After all we invented the pavolva (Kiwis dispute this), the Anzac biscuit, the lamington and the true blue Aussie pie. Our sheilas know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach but before you get to experience these Aussie delicacies a true blue sheila will require a bit of wooing.
The best place to take an Aussie sheila on a first date is to the footie. Now that sounds so easy but it is actually fraught with difficulty. You see we have no appreciation whatsoever for the round ball. We leave that to the Poms and the Europeans and export most of the players who show any talent with a round ball to Great Britain or Europe (where they belong!). And grid iron is something some of our blokes play as a bit of a joke so they can laugh about it in the pub from an ‘informed’ perspective. There are three codes of footie in Aus and they have a distinct following.
Aussie Rules (Australian Football League) is religion in the deep south east. Do not visit Melbourne or Adelaide without researching the three last grand finals and choosing a team to support. No Melbourne sheila would contemplate going out with a bloke seriously unless he knows his Aussie Rules. Sydney and Brisbane girls will be divided between Rugby Union and Rugby League – the silver tails will follow the union and the local sheilas love the league. The absolute best first date is a State of Origin match between New South Wales and Queensland and the best way to get to know the game, and the girl, is to ask about the rules, the history and her favourite team…. Aussie sheilas do not ever ‘root’ for a team. In Australia rooting has a very different meaning and you would be well advised to not mention the word until you have her heart in your hands.
If footie is religion then relaxation is the beach. Most Aussies live within striking distance of an expanse of sand and deep blue ocean. Aussies don’t go to the beach to show off their muscles and parade in swimwear, they are serious swimmers. If you can’t handle a board or at least shoot a few body curls keep your clothes on and head for the hills. Our beach sheilas have been known to take on sharks of the marine and human kind and send them packing with a bruised ego and a sense of “what just hit me?’ However if you can’t swim or surf and you are willing to learn Aussie beach chicks have the credentials to teach you!
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