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Dating Disasters : Things to Avoid on a First Date

The dating process is a complex game of rules and patterns and which brings in mixed feelings among many of us. For some, it means a feeling of anticipation and butterflies in the stomach sensation, while for others it might be just another waste of a free evening. Whichever category we belong too, we have a personal list of behaviors which we feel are unacceptable on a first date.

The other day I was sitting with my friends and the topic of dating came up in the course of our conversation, and all the ladies present brought out their disaster date scenarios out on the table, and that is when I decided to take the top five in their list and write an article out of it.

Honey, the check is all yours: Women are two-faced this way, they want their independence and equality, but when it comes to chivalry you cannot do enough. Well, I don’t know who made the rules but an woman would like the man to pay the check on the first date. And if the man is the new-age, modern man, who respects women power and feels that he has done a great job of making her feel like an equal by asking her to pay the bill, well he cannot be more wrong. This seems to be the cardinal rule of dating, with only a few exceptions.

The whistling and “hey you’s”: Whistling out for a waiter might seem dashing to some, but only in the movies. This seems to be a common opinion, women find out a lot about a man’s personality by the way he behaves with the wait staff. If a guy has the habit of whistling or shouting out to a waiter to get his attention, this might come out as rude or arrogant. A definite “No” on a first date, i.e. if the guy wants a second date after all.

What is that smell?: This is definitely not limited to the first date alone, but then with a problem like this one’s chances of a second date are slim. My friend had to invent someone’s sudden death to actually escape a bad case of mouth-odor. She tried to lean back and avoid it as much as possible but it got to a point where it was either a quick escape or the table napkin over her nose. So if the guy wants to actually make it to the second date sometime in the future, he better invest in some breath mints and mouthwash.

All about me: When you go on a first date, usually it is a chance to get to know about each other and when the guy spends the entire time speaking only about himself, he can see those invisible yawns on his date’s face. Being full of himself, not giving his date the chance to even complete a sentence will only bring him down on the scale of manners and will not help to get him anywhere with the lady in question.

 

One kiss please: This is again a very sensitive area and opinions seemed to differ among my friends too. Some do not like the fact that you kiss on the first date, some thought it rude not to give a good night kiss and others felt a chaste kiss on the cheek is enough. Well, one friend gave a very strong view about necking and groping being completely out of the question and everyone seemed to agree to that. Well, I would say it depends on the chemistry between the two and you should try to read the body language too. But if he is coming on too strong or being forceful then he can kiss the second date goodbye.

These were among the top 5 in the list of unacceptable behaviors but I remember there being quite a few more. Being late on a date, not being dressedappropiately, talking about the ex on the first date, asking questions about her sex life were some of the close contenders.

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  1. anndavey650

    On January 1, 2011 at 3:44 pm


    Liked the ’smelly’ one. No one likes that on a first date! Well done.

  2. Sceptical Thinker

    On January 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm


    I have to say its a long time since I have been on a first date, but my memories are all about nerves. Yes its a very difficult time , unless you are totally insensitive. So you gave some good practical advice , the rest of course is down to chemistry ? luck ? thanks for the interesting read

  3. OhSugar

    On January 1, 2011 at 4:33 pm


    Great piece. Reading body language is so important on a first date. One of the persons may be bored and the other may be thinking that everything is okay because they can\’t read body language. I like the other advice as well.

  4. AlexiaJ

    On January 1, 2011 at 5:25 pm


    You’re always at the point!First dates are always sensitive subjects to talk about.

  5. LadyElena

    On January 1, 2011 at 6:59 pm


    Great tips raised. I am particular about the way a man treats his mother and sister. It says a lot. :)

  6. bhaswati

    On January 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm


    thank you for reading and posting your views, friends.

  7. lillyrose

    On January 2, 2011 at 2:30 pm


    some great tips! I would never expect anyone to pay for my meal

  8. bhaswati

    On January 2, 2011 at 2:46 pm


    @ Lily, then you are one of the few. i remember paying for the coffee once on a first date. the rest were far too long back for me to remember ;)

  9. SowmyaT

    On January 2, 2011 at 2:52 pm


    Nice share

  10. Tulan

    On January 2, 2011 at 4:14 pm


    Helpful information for dating couples.

  11. Eunice Tan

    On January 3, 2011 at 3:54 am


    Nice advice or us.

  12. samgoldencoffee

    On January 7, 2011 at 12:11 pm


    i have never dated…so this article is very useful for me…thankyou for sharing..

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