Dating in the Philippine Setting

A colleague was leaving so we went out with some of the people from the office. It was a long lunch and we talked about a lot of things — friends, relationships, and families. It was a fun way of knowing about people outside of work. Things you talk about leave you enlightened.

On my way home, I pondered on the topics that we’ve discussed and was surprised to note that a growing number of women have become more open to discussing — therefore subtly implying that they engage in — premarital sex (pMS). Call me naive, but I’ve always believed that only about 10% (or even less) of women of the entire Philippine population do it without the blessing of the Church. I guess I’ve grown up believing that a woman must wait for the right man to come and marry him before taking part of what was known to be a ceremony reserved only for married couples.

This led me to think that the women of today (or of the Greater Manila Area only) are comparable to Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Miranda Hobbes and Charlotte York (if you’ve been watching a lot of HBO, you’d know who I’m talking about). These four ladies have openly talked about their sex life and were not ashamed of it. Maybe they’ve liberated us in some way. Maybe they’ve helped us accept the new norm. However liberated we’ve become though, it seems that we still haven’t completely grasped the concept of non-exclusive dating. Meaning, dating without the commitment. Which now leads me to what I’ve really come here to write about: dating in the Philippine setting.

Come to think of it, I have yet to hear a story on dating where both the guy and the girl had a blast, went home and haven’t expected anything from the other. I’m not saying that both parties expect something from each other but someone always is. Be it the guy or the girl. Why, you went out on a first date and you had a great time! You deduced that you and your date have a lot of things in common and that you actually go along well. So someone is bound to expect another one. Soon. And another one after that. Then you half-expect, if not totally, that these dates will bloom into something else. That you’ll either propose or be proposed to eventually. Even the friends who played matchmakers to you and this new guy/girl expect this to happen. “When are you going out again?” they’d ask. “There has to be a second date.” they’d say. And the pressure is on.