Dating Secrets

What are the secrets of dating?   

There are no secrets.  It’s a simple process, really.  Our natural instincts drive us toward it. Men want to date women.  Women want to date men.  It should be as natural as ice cream and apple pie.

So why is so complicated at times? 

Because we’re human and we’re complicated.  Our thoughts interfere with our instincts. We think too much. That’s both our blessing and our curse.  Here are a few tips to remember:

The Other Person is There Because They Want to Find the Right Person.

There’s a motive.  They want success as badly as you do. So there’s always that in your favor.  But it’s a big world, so remember…

You Might not be the Right Person

It’s a big world.  There are billions of people in it. Odds are that you will sometimes find someone that you don’t click with.  That’s OK.  Relax.  It’s a process.  You didn’t discover your favorite food the first time you took a bite.  It took lots of eating to discover your tastes.  (Otherwise, we’d all be eating baby food.) 

You Might Actually be the Right Person

So be yourself.  Being relaxed and natural is far more important than creating a specific impression.  You want to be with someone who likes you for you, don’t you?  It’s a numbers game.  Sooner or later, the odds will be in your favor as long as you don’t give up.

Everyone Puts on a Show on the First Date

  We try to be the funniest or the coolest or the most non-chalant person we can be.  The sooner you get past that, the better.  It will be easier on you to just be yourself.

Don’t Place Conditions

Laying down the law on your date is a bad idea.  Men and women sometimes place expectations in their conversations about what is important to them as a way of warning the other person of what they want from them.  You can’t change anyone.   

Listen

Don’t just wait to speak.  Don’t spend the time when your mouth isn’t moving thinking about what you are going to say next.  Just listen.  It shows you care.  It also teaches you so much about the other person.  Stuff you need to know. This is the best way to find out if they meet your expectations. But don’t expect too much.  We’re all human.

Don’t talk about the EX

The EX isn’t there so don’t bring them into it.  Three’s a crowd.

Stop Thinking

It’s not a math problem or a puzzle.  A date doesn’t have to be ‘figured out’.  It either works or it doesn’t.  If it does, you know it.  If you have to think about it, it’s probably not working.  Or you’re too far removed from it to let it work.

Have Fun

Hopefully, this one speaks for itself.  Be open to the experience.  It’s a date, not work.