Dear Reader: Week of April 4th

Dear Reader,

The idea of forgiveness has compounded many to say,”it means to forgive someone.” This correct, right? The term really has become cliche, something that we feel that we have been told forever. How often, though, is this really applied? Is it really part of the everyday life? In a casual observance, forgiveness is really something that is done out of convenience. Sure, we might forgive a child for spilling milk, or someone calling us a name, but how often does a wife forgive her mother in-law for her ruin wedding?

The truth is, forgiveness is a relationship of love. In order for one to be forgiven, they have to choose to be forgave. I call it a relationship because it involves two people, sometimes more. It is not justifies to expect to be forgiven, if you continuously make to same offense. It is like when someone goes to confession, (or the idea of penance) a person has to go through a change of heart before they are fully forgave by God.

The reality is that forgiveness requires work. Just like any other type of love, it may feel good to say, but really doing it can be the hardest part of life. It is easy to hate, or stay angry at someone. People hold onto anger like a motto.

Sure it may drive up blood pressure, cause heart disease, increase stress and even pull apart families, but taking the easy road always seems a better choice.

Image via Wikipedia

Now, I do not mean to step away from the idea of the relationship. Love does not exist unless it is in a relationship. Bot members need to put in an equal amount of physical and emotion work.

This may not seem fair. The person who want to forgive is assumed to have been wronged in some way. The person who wronged should have to do all of the work, right? The problem is people, like I said before, hold onto anger. Anger becomes a bind stronger than what we want to admit. A person is only angry because they choose to be. Most would like to think that someone else has made them angry that this is someone else’s fault and others make them this way. Again this is the easy way.

The process of forgiveness, though does not happen instantly. It does not just happen when someone releases themself from anger. It happens over time. When the person who has offended chooses not to repeat that same offense. This is commonly how our legal system works, three strikes and your out. What about the first two?

Forgiveness is just, and justice does not come easy, but when the work is done peace and sef assurance can take hold for a better and happier life.